That knee-jerk impulse of “Don’t tell me what to do!” can kick in even when it’s you telling yourself what to do.

This is common when you’re trying to make commitments and follow through on them by building a schedule . You may have scheduled time for something that you legitimately want to do—say, work out or read a book.

But when it comes time to do those things per your timeboxed schedule , you might feel a bit of reactance. Because, it doesn’t feel as though you’re deciding what to do. Rather, it’s you from the past giving orders to your present self. Ugh, who does that guy think he is?

Instead of flaking on commitments because of a knee-jerk feeling, you can change your perspective on the situation.

To disarm psychological reactance, by talking to yourself differently.

• Don't say I have to do something
• Say, I get to or even deserve to do it.

By changing the dialogue, you empower yourself. Now you’re in charge. You’re not being told what to do—you’re choosing to make time for something that matters to you.

Your freedom isn’t being threatened, it’s being exercised.