Use The "S-A-S" Rule to Quickly Defuse Conflict & End Arguments  - Deepstash
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The SAS Rule To Quickly Defuse Conflict

The SAS Rule To Quickly Defuse Conflict

Here's how conflict handling would work using the "SAS" rule:

  • Step 1: (S)tep back -- physically. This creates space between you and your colleague and sends the signal that you're not interested in further aggression or tension.
  • Step 2: (A)sk for a second to think about the situation logically. With a pause in the communication, ask yourself two critical questions: What is the most important fact on each side of the argument?
  • Step 3: (S)hare your realization with the other person calmly. Be sure you acknowledge both sides of the argument and how your emotion was coloring your communication.

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Follow Up And Listen

At this point, you may be able to continue a constructive conversation that reaches a peaceful resolution. If, however, there is still tension, ask to excuse yourself so both of you can calm down and rationally think about both sides of the argument.

Follow up after a few hours (or days, depending on how much time you need) to calmly discuss the issue and come to a resolution. Be prepared to listen and, as needed, make a concession or compromise.

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Closure

You can prepare an agenda for your follow-up or craft a statement of facts or beliefs that frame your side of the argument. Both of you should do this and share it with the other to review in advance. This avoids possible inflammatory statements at the moment and forces you to think about the other person's position.

Overall, it's best to defuse these situations quickly and let the other person know you have no interest in conflict, but that you'd much rather listen, share, and come to an understanding calmly. It's the only way forward -- for the issue at hand and for your relationship.

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CURATED BY

jonathcoop

Education officer

CURATOR'S NOTE

Conflict appears in many forms, but we seldom are prepared to deal with it. Fortunately, this 3-step rule defuses tense situations and facilitates constructive resolution.

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