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I'm not a Mom, but I work in childcare, so take my advice with whatever size grain of salt you feel is necessary.
What might help is the "Three-part I-Message". Sounds real fancy, but it just means: talk to your kids about what you think in those situations. It goes in the structure of: I see, that makes me feel, I wish.
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e.g. "I see that you're very sleepy and you're asking me for a song. I love singing for you but it also feels like you're saying that so you don't have to go to bed yet. I want you to just tell me if you want to stay up, then we can talk about that. And if you want to just spend time together you can tell me too."
You might not even need the whole thing. Sometimes it's enough to say: "I hear you, your trampoline adventures sound fun, I also see that broccoli plate."
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Maybe your kids will feel like you've seen through them, maybe they'll say you got it all wrong. But one day they're going to be old enough to recognize you being suspicious just by looking at you, so it might be best to just be open about it. Then again I don't know you, your children or your situation. So my advice might not be the best.
But from your comment you seem very loving towards your children and I wish you and your family all the best.
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