“Nobody Likes Me:” Understanding Loneliness and Self-shame - PsychAlive - Deepstash
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What is our “critical inner voice”?

What is our “critical inner voice”?

This “critical inner voice” exists in all of us, reminding us constantly that we aren’t good enough and don’t deserve what we want. As long as we are listening to this dangerous critic that twists our reality, we cannot really trust our own perceptions of what others think of us.

Once we lose confidence or our sense of self, we’ll no longer act like ourselves.

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Effects Of This Inner Voice

Effects Of This Inner Voice

Chances are, it is this destructive “voice” we are hearing every time we tell ourselves, “nobody likes me.”

  • It’s also this voice that instructs us to avoid situations where we’d get to know people.
  • It shuts us up in social situations, makes us nervous, so we don’t act like ourselves.
  • It confuses us with its ceaseless stream of self-shaming observations and self-limiting advice, leaving us anxious and stifled. .

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Where does the “voice” that “nobody likes me” come from?

Where does the “voice” that “nobody likes me” come from?

  1. If a parent thought of us as lazy, helpless or as a troublemaker, we tend to incorporate these attitudes toward ourselves on an unconscious level throughout our lives.
  2. Add to this the many other social experiences we had where we felt put down, shamed or rejected (a teacher who humiliated us in front of our class, a bully at school who put us down on a daily basis), and we can start to see how our inner critic took shape.

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Dealing with Isolation and Loneliness

Dealing with Isolation and Loneliness

The critical inner voice strongly influences feelings of isolation, loneliness and social anxiety .

This creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we start to see the world as threatening or not accepting of us, we are much more likely to act in ways that push away or alienate others.

In order to challenge our loneliness, we have to challenge the negative filter through which we see ourselves and the world around us. We have to take on our critical inner voice.

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Overcoming the Critical Inner Voice

There are five important steps to overcoming this inner critic.

Step One: Get to know what your inner critic is telling you

Step Two: Think about where these critical attitudes come from

Step Three: Talk back to your critical inner voice

Step Four: Think about how your voices affect your actions

Step Five: Change your behavior

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CURATED BY

maliha

A medical student!🩺 I’d like to live as simply as possible. I love reading- regardless of what type of book it is. People are wonderful, especially those closest to me. I’m determined to do some good for others in whatever I end up doing in the future.

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