“Nobody Likes Me:” Understanding Loneliness and Self-shame - PsychAlive

1. If a parent thought of us as lazy, helpless or as a troublemaker, we tend to incorporate these attitudes toward ourselves on an unconscious level throughout our lives.
2. Add to this the many other social experiences we had where we felt put down, shamed or rejected (a teacher who humiliated us in front of our class, a bully at school who put us down on a daily basis), and we can start to see how our inner critic took shape.

The critical inner voice strongly influences feelings of isolation, loneliness and social anxiety .

This creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we start to see the world as threatening or not accepting of us, we are much more likely to act in ways that push away or alienate others.

In order to challenge our loneliness, we have to challenge the negative filter through which we see ourselves and the world around us. We have to take on our critical inner voice.

There are five important steps to overcoming this inner critic.

Step One: Get to know what your inner critic is telling you

Step Two: Think about where these critical attitudes come from

Step Three: Talk back to your critical inner voice

Step Four: Think about how your voices affect your actions

Step Five: Change your behavior