How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds Or Less - Deepstash
How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds Or Less


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How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds Or Less

by Nicholas Boothman

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2 Steps Of Communication

In this book, the author divides the process of communication into 2 stages: -

  1. Meeting = this stage is usually 4-5s and in this, you try to make them interested in talking with you or you try to attract them.
  2. Rapport = Rapport is the 90s duration period where the other person either becomes a fan of you or creeps out of you we’ll learn about It in the next ideas. 


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How to do a good meeting

  1. Be open = We must ensure that your body language portrays you as a confident person, not a nervous person. Try avoiding these things biting your nails, not maintaining your posture, or crossing your hands.
  2. Eye contact = If we make eye contact with anybody then it automatically increases our confidence and shows us a confident personality.
  3. Beam = if you’re able to make eye contact then you should take the first step of doing anything, this shows that you aren’t angry and we are a great personality.
  4. Lean = Lean towards someone if you want them to be interested in you. 


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What is Rapport?

This is the moment when you and the other person connect mentally and get into synchronism( kind of mirroring) you will not be able to notice that but you’re in it. Let’s see an example, Mark (an introvert) goes to a party and there he saw a beautiful girl named Tanya then after some time he heard that Tanya loves stamps and from there he got a topic to talk on then he gets to Tanya and talks about his stamp collection. Now here also Mark and Tanya are In Synchronism.


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Principle of Rapport: Synchrony

It is just mirroring (Copying the actions they do). When talking to someone, we need to consciously make ourselves mirror that person to get his/her interest in us. We can easily mirror Gestures, Voice tone (excited voice, low voice), Body posture, tilts and nods, facial expressions, and breathing (fast or slow breathing). 


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Visual, auditory, kinesthetic

  1. Visual people = These people express their emotions in the form of pictures like “Buddy, that movie was amazing I must recommend you to watch it”.
  2.  Auditory = These people express their emotions in the form of music like “Buddy, that song reminds me of the moment we had together”.
  3. Kinesthetic = These people express their emotions In the form of energy like “Buddy, the level of energy of the concert was mind-blowing”

In short, we can categorize the people on these bases, and then we can mold ourselves in front of them to make them interested in us.


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No one is a stranger they are just friends that you haven't met yet. 


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