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14 Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist

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https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/14-signs-of-narcissism

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14 Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist
When it comes to determining whether someone you know is a narcissist, most people make it more complicated than it needs to be. I use the duck test-that is, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck.

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Superiority and entitlement

The world of the narcissist is all about good/bad, superior/inferior, and right/wrong. There is a definite hierarchy, with the narcissist at the top—which is the only place he feels safe. 

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Exaggerated need for attention

Narcissists need constant attention—even following you around the house or constantly saying something to grab your attention. 

Despite all their self-absorbed, grandiose...

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Perfectionism

Narcissists believe they should be perfect, you should be perfect, events should happen exactly as expected, and life should play out precisely as they envision it. 

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A great need for control

Narcissists want to do as much as possible to control life and mold it to their liking. They demand that you say and do exactly what they have in mind so they can reach their desired conclus...

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Blaming and deflecting

Although narcissists want to be in control, they never want to be responsible for negative results. When things don’t go according to their plan or they feel criticized they place all the bla...

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Lack of boundaries

Narcissists believe that everything belongs to them, everyone thinks and feels the same as they do, and everyone wants the same things they do. They are shocked and highly insulted to be told...

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Lack of empathy

Narcissists are highly attuned to perceived threats, anger, and rejection from others. At the same time, they are nearly blind to the other feelings of the people aro...

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Emotional reasoning

Explanations or reason don’t make sense to the narcissist, who only seems able to be aware of his own thoughts and feelings. Although narcissists may say they understand, they honestly do...

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Splitting

The narcissist’s personality is split into good and bad parts, and they also split everything in their relationships into good and bad. 

Any negative thoughts or behaviors are blamed on ...

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Fear

Narcissists fear any true intimacy or vulnerability because they’re afraid you’ll see their imperfections and judge or reject them. No amount of reassurance seems to make a difference.

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Anxiety

Most narcissists project their anxiety onto their closest loved ones, accusing them of being negative, unsupportive, mentally ill, not putting them first, not responding to their ne...

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Shame

Narcissists harbor a lot of shame. Shame is the belief that there is something deeply and permanently wrong or bad about who you are. 

Buried in a deeply r...

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An inability to be truly vulnerable

Because of their inability to understand feelings, their lack of empathy, and the constant need for self-protection, narcissists can’t truly love or connect emotionally with other people.&nbs...

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An inability to communicate

Thoughtful, cooperative behaviors require a real understanding of each other’s feelings. 

Don’t expect the narcissist to understand your feelings, give in, or giv...

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Loves to Talk About Oneself

A pathological narcissist loves to talk about himself, often in exaggerated and grandiose terms. 

Common conversational topics for narcissists include accomplishments and achievem...

Charming with a Catch

Many narcissists can come across as alluring and attractive, especially during the initial stages of a relationship.

While there’s nothing wrong inherently with being charming and romantic, the narcissist crafts these traits in order to use others. He or she is not really interested in you, but only in what he wants to extract from you.

Lack of Reliability and Follow Through

Many narcissists lack reliability and follow through. This can range from regularly breaking appointments, to habitually falling through on promises and agreements.

When you observe a pattern of inconsistency between what your partner says, versus what she or he actually does, you may be dealing with a narcissist.

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The humble narcissist

Researchers studied whether customer service employees were more productive under narcissistic or humble leaders.

The least effective bosses were narcissists. Humble bosses we...

Narcissist and humble leaders

Narcissists believe they're unique and superior, while humble leaders know they're flawed. 

The humble narcissist has grand ambitions but doesn't feel entitled to them. He is also willing to acknowledge his weaknesses and learn from his mistakes.

Narcissism and confidence

We're all drawn to someone who shows confidence - that is the reason that narcissists are more likely to be promoted or get elected to political office. But on its own, narcissism is dangerous. It tends to promote overconfidence and it dismisses the criticism.

Adding humility to narcissism prevents capriciousness and complacency. It helps you remember that you’re human.

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Narcissists

They have inflated views of themselves (they think they are better than they actually are).

They make fantastic first impressions. But the stuff that works for narcissists so well in the sho...

Don't deal with them

Narcissists lack empathy, they usually don’t work hard, and in a few weeks to a few months, they make the people around them miserable. And narcissism is very hard to change. So, if at all possible, just stay away.

Kiss Up Or Shut Up

Clinical psychologist Al Bernstein recommends you kiss up to them or at least keep your mouth shut until you can get out of there.

There’s this concept called “narcissistic injury.” Pointing out a narcissist isn’t all they think they are can be like pulling the pin on a grenade. A grenade you have to see every day of your life.

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