7 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You’re The Child Of A Narcissistic Parent - Deepstash

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One of the most tragic and traumatic experiences a person can go through is growing up with narcissistic parents. Consequences of growing up in a war zone are far-reaching and can affect a person for the rest of their lives. Given this, you might be engaging in the following seven behaviors:


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1. Apologizing More Than You Have To Even When It's Not Needed

1. Apologizing More Than You Have To Even When It's Not Needed

  • Narcissistic parents teach their children to apologize for everything. . Female victims are especially taught to be affable and people-pleasing. It takes time to unlearn this behavior and apologize solely for actual transgressions rather than perceived burdensomeness.
  • Ask: Did I cause this? Instead of "sorry," say "That's unfortunate." If you're not to blame, don't apologize. Let others take responsibility if the event was their fault
  • Remember that many people don't apologize for their wrongdoings, so don't overextend yourself by apologizing for something you didn't do.


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2. Hesitating To Say No, Because It Might Displease Others.

2. Hesitating To Say No, Because It Might Displease Others.

  • You were raised to obey your toxic parents at the expense of your own well-being and needs. When you refused their requests, you were abused.
  • Adults have healthy boundaries by saying no. It's intimidating at first. The trick is to check in with yourself about why you're afraid to say no, prepare for any potential consequences, and allow yourself to feel the discomfort while sticking to what you know is true.
  • Ask yourself regularly, "Am I doing something to please someone else or because I want to?" It's okay to assess whether someone has invested in you and move from there.


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3. Doubting Your Own Perceptions And Your Intuition.

3. Doubting Your Own Perceptions And Your Intuition.

  • We're sensitive and intuitive, yet abusers have gaslighted us our whole lives. We underestimate our feelings and instincts and overvalue others' comfort. This can lead to harmful connections, relationships, work environments, and business agreements.
  • If you want to know if the problem is you or them, ask yourself some basic questions. Does everyone make you uneasy, or does one individual set off the inner smoke alarm? Do they exhibit harmful behaviors like your parents? Would you treat someone like this? If not, would you be uncomfortable seeing them mistreat someone else?


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  • As children of narcissists, we typically value the suffering of others over our own, therefore the last question helps us detach ourselves and notice abuse because we perceive how dreadful the situation would feel to someone else. It makes us know that it's good to verify when someone is being an asshole and that it has nothing to do with you.


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4. Checking In On Someone Else's Feelings And Not Your Own

4. Checking In On Someone Else's Feelings And Not Your Own

  • You dread change because you were reared in a chaotic, unpredictable atmosphere. Hence, you constantly check for changes. You doubt your closest relationships. You micromanage your relationships because you don't know how people feel about you.
  • The healthier approach is to pull back and reconsider if the individuals you're urgently clinging to deserve a seat at your table. Are they worth your time? We sometimes forget how we feel about people because we're so focused on how others see us.


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  • We neglect to allow ourselves to detest, confront, or even recognise colossal douchebaggery. “Are they a douche?” is a fun mantra to combat people-pleasing. OK! Instead than trying to change your opinion about poisonous people, accept them. It's okay to avoid nasty individuals.
  • . It's terrible for someone trained to depend on others' approval, but we can thrive without them. Some people should be removed from our life, while others can help us. Differentiating is crucial.


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5. Picking Up On Micro-signals Of Abandonment

5. Picking Up On Micro-signals Of Abandonment

  • Narcissist children are hypersensitive to microexpressions, gestures, and voice shifts that indicate abandonment or disdain. They have to be aware of this to withstand rapid environmental shifts. They needed to know when their parents would rage or what they could "do" to avoid punishment.
  • Adults are intuitive about others' motives and emotions. You notice tiny changes quickly. Intuition can help navigate social encounters, but it can sometimes be overpowering. This hyperfocus can make you preoccupied with impressing the person instead of distancing. Try noting these changes.


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6. Taking Your Time To Trust.

6. Taking Your Time To Trust.

  • You were abused as a child. Trust was used repeatedly. You must have trouble letting folks in. This proves your trauma, not your guilt.
  • Slowing down and trusting is often a positive thing since it shows you are mindful of emotional predators who may take advantage of your generosity. If you overshare, you may divulge personal information in seconds. Red flags may cause hypervigilance. Trust must be earned.
  • There are trustworthy individuals out there, but you have to be willing to see them for who they really are.


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7. Problematic Relationship with Uncomfortable Emotions

7. Problematic Relationship with Uncomfortable Emotions

  • Narcissists emotionally invalidate their children from birth. They are taught that their emotions are unimportant or flawed. They learn to suppress anger and hurt. Embracing their "dark side" can be scary.
  • They never learned how to process, channel, and heal their emotions, they may hide their genuine feelings for a lifetime, finally "snap," or become easily overwhelmed by them. I say this half-jokingly, but children of narcissists may be terrifying when their true emotions are eventually allowed to surface. Writing, meditating, or exercising to manage your emotions can change your life.


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  • Identifying and validating your feelings without acting on them might help you exercise your basic human rights and set boundaries. As the kid of a narcissist, learning to constructively stand up for yourself is crucial.


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Don't Give Up Hope.

Don't Give Up Hope.

Despite their struggles as adults, children of narcissists have tremendous resilience and all the more reason to pave a brighter future for themselves and future generations.


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