Avoid tension and build rapport

This underscores the importance of starting on the right foot.  If you upset the person you’re trying to help, they’ll wall themselves off. 

It's important to use empathy, but don’t get too friendly. Take a careful balance between making someone like you and asserting your authority.

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Focus on collaboration

To get someone to act on your advice, it’s going to mean giving up at least some of the credit for it. 

When the person receiving your advice feels like they had a hand in creating it—with guidance from you, the expert, of course—they’re far more likely to act on it.

Show your work

In this case, you’re showing your work because it instills trust, and trust is critical for acceptance. 

When you show you work, the person you’re advising doesn’t have to take your recommendations on blind faith. They can see exactly how you got to your advice and buy into it along the way.

Get their friends on your side

Accountability is key. The more you can involve the entire social circle, the better the odds they’ll actually follow through.

You can spend 10 minutes giving someone life-changing advice, but your advice would be much more effective if you knew a friend, a family member, and a co-worker were giving them the same feedback all day long.

  • Don’t advise until you’ve been invited to. No one is going to listen to you until they’re ready to. 
  • Offer long-term support. It’s hard to implement big changes in your life, especially if you’re doing it alone. 
  • Express confidence in their judgment. Work to make your advice their idea by asking lots of questions to lead them to the answer and let them know you’re truly confident in their decision.

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