Don't try changing people, try understanding them.
When you try to change someone they tend to resent you, dig in their heels, and get worse. The way to disengage a difficult person is to try understanding where they are coming from.
When trying to understand difficult people, search for their value language.
A value language is what someone values most. It is what drives their decisions. For some people it is money; for others, it is power or knowledge.
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