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Steps to Becoming Insanely Successful...or Whatever | Mark Manson
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Being Insanely Successful By Going Against The Norm
- Success means different things to different people and is not always about bigger cars or the number of followers.
- To achieve something extraordinary, you have to do something that no other people (or maybe just a few) are doing or willing to do.
- Therefore, step-by-step systems on "how to be successful" are not going to help you achieve spectacular success.
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Being Aware of The Narrative Fallacy
The Narrative Fallacy makes us to see events as stories, with logical chains of cause and effect. When it comes to success, do not fall for the ‘narrative’ fallacy’ and think that great people became successful due to what happened to them, and if we emulate that, we will achieve the same result.
We need to do something extraordinary and exceptional to achieve great success, and that makes any successful person an exception, someone who did what few others were willing to do. Instead of googling for success, find what you want to do to change the world!
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Success Is Something We Make Up
- Very few of us went through childhood without getting any emotional scars.
- Be it home or school, we suffered many problems when our impressionable mind wasn’t mature enough to handle them the way we can as an adult.
- Our worldview becomes skewed, and we start to build upon the mutated version of the world around us, messing up with our lives.
- Success by itself is not about money or fame or power, but our upbringing programs us to think about success in a certain way.
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Success And Existential Distress
Our definitions of success are made up and largely motivated by our emotional dysfunctions. Most people work towards the formula of success, striving for money, prestige and power, running towards a goal that keeps getting farther away. They get super exhausted and may experience a breakdown when they realize that all this does not really mean anything.
When we realize that our emotional dysfunctions and pressures of society were our main motivators towards whatever we had been pursuing, we suddenly see the futility of it all and experience an existential crisisn(or a mid-life crisis) sometime in our 40s or 50s.
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You Are Gonna Be Okay
Being a good person, taking care of your loved ones, being trustworthy, positive and honest, don’t require much and makes even a simple existence an enjoyable one.
Life, as imperfect and unfair it may seem, is pretty good. Life has plenty of beautiful moments if our definition of success isn’t about accumulation of wealth or a drive towards more power, but to live a healthy, happy and fulfilling life.
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Great Success Happens By Doing The Right Thing Now
Having ‘breakout’ success is not an intentional goal.
Giving your life meaning and purpose, while being creatively engaged with the problems of the now, is an emotionally healthy definition of success.
Most scientific breakthroughs have been from people who questioned the status quo and assumptions which were the norm. The ‘outsiders’ with no fixed plan asked the right questions and did something that seemed small and unexpected, in the present moment.
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If you see something as a sacrifice, it will bring you frustration
When you think you have to sacrifice something in your life in order to be successful you will build frustration and resentment towards yourself. And so that lofty goal that should ha...
This idea of sacrificing things to become successful comes from comparisons
From comparing our lives to others. Why do you think you look at things as a sacrifice? Compared to what? “Well, so and so is having an avocado salad at a rooftop bar in SoHo.” Who gives a shit. ⚠️
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How we perceive philosophy
When most people think of philosophy, they believe philosophers simply argue about arguing. Philosophy is viewed as impractical and irrelevant to current issues.
In...
Defining philosophy
Philosophy is examining our understanding of reality and knowledge. Philosophy consists of three major branches:
- Metaphysics - What is true about existence.
- Epistemology - How we can know that it is true. Epistemology has given us science, logic/reason, economics, psychology, and other theories of knowledge.
- Ethics - What actions we should take as a result of this knowledge. Ethics contains concepts such as democracy, human rights, the treatment of animals, and the environment.
When you order your thoughts into a coherent belief system, you are engaging in philosophy. To criticize philosophy, you must rely on philosophy.
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Doing what you love is complicated
As kids, playing was described as fun while work was pretty much defined as not-fun. In school, it was implied that work was monotonous because it was in preparation for grownup work. Grownups a...
Bounds
Keep in mind this question: How much are you supposed to enjoy what you do? If you underestimate your answer, you'll tend to stop searching too early.
Liking your work does not mean doing what makes you happiest in this second, but what will make you most satisfied over a more extended period, like a week or a month. Your work should be your favorite thing to do. It should be something you admire.
What you should not do
- Don't worry about the opinion of anyone beyond your friends.
- Don't worry about prestige. Prestige is the opinion of the rest of the world. If you do anything well enough, you'll make it prestigious.
- Don't be led astray by money, especially when money is combined with prestige.
A test of whether you love what you do is if you would do it even if you weren't paid for it. (Even if you had to work at another job to make a living.)