The all-or-nothing mentality is focused on convincing yourself that you need to quit your job so you can put all your energy into what you think you want.
But you may not be financially prepared to quit your job. You may waste a lot of time considering if you should or shouldn't.

The all-or-nothing mentality

Ask yourself what in your current situation is really making you unhappy, and what have you not yet considered that could solve it. Once you have answers, consider them as possible solutions.
Alternative solutions may not sound that attractive, but it is more realistic. All-or-nothing decisions are riskier, causing you to burn bridges or taking a leap without a safety net.

An alternative to the all-or-nothing mindset

<figure><img alt="Image for post" src="https://miro.medium.com/max/500/0*ig_EhgXz4c7BcLiE" width="785" height="484"><figcaption class="il im cz cx cy in io cd ce fp cg ex" data-selectable-paragraph="" dir="ltr">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@alexkixa?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral" class="ck gq ip iq ir is" rel="noopener nofollow" dir="ltr">Alexandre Debiève</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral" class="ck gq ip iq ir is" rel="noopener nofollow" dir="ltr">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure>For most of us, it’s all too easy to fall into an all-or-nothing mentality.<OL><LI>We have ideas about what we think we want.</LI><LI>They’re not in line with what we have now (they almost never are).</LI><LI>We convince ourselves that we can’t have what we think we want without first scrapping everything we have now.</LI></OL>As usual, my point can be summed up pretty neatly by a single song lyric:<BLOCKQUOTE>“And now the only piece of advice that continues to help Is anyone that’s making anything new only breaks something else” — ‘When My Time Comes’, Dawes</BLOCKQUOTE><h1 data-selectable-paragraph="">The all-or-nothing mentality is highly romanticized.</h1>A quick scroll through artsy Pinterest quotes under “all-or-nothing” makes that much clear. “Be all in or get all out. There is no halfway,” is one of my personal favorites.Although I get the point that quotes like these are trying to get across—that you can’t find success if you aren’t fully committed to the search — I feel like that point ends up getting lost in translation all too often. At least, it did for me.Like most people reading these quotes I imagine, I was at a crossroads. In my case, I was at a crossroads in my career.<h2 data-selectable-paragraph="">I was starting to wake up every morning thinking about quitting.</h2>I would reluctantly shuffle out of bed with that thought in my head, go on to make some coffee, and then sit down to write my article on Medium for the day. The writing time usually flew by, and before I knew it it was time to hop on my morning call for work — that’s when I started to count down the hours until five, at which point I got to editing what I’d written in the morning.The deeper I got into this new schedule, the more I started to resent my day job. I was happy to be writing consistently, but the more time I spent writing the more I realized how different that time felt than the eight hours I spent working at my job. One could make an hour feel like a minute, the other could make a minute feel like an hour. I wished I could use the hours I’d committed to my day job to write and create content I was passionate about, and I became convinced that the only way to do that was to quit my job.<h2 data-selectable-paragraph="">I felt trapped because I couldn’t go all in.</h2>Without really knowing it, I had convinced myself that there was only one real solution to my problem, and it was a solution that was out of my reach. I couldn’t quit my job.I mean, I could have — anybody can say the words, “I quit” — but it wouldn’t have made sense (or, rather, it wouldn’t have made “cents”). I wasn’t financially prepared to quit my job. Just the thought alone of quitting without a solid backup to keep me from digging around in my hard-earned savings filled me with anxiety.I wasted a lot of time in that “should I or shouldn’t I?” grey zone, constantly ping-ponging back and forth between deciding to give my two weeks and settling in for the long-haul at work.<h1 data-selectable-paragraph="">In the end, it was burnout that forced the change.</h1>The way I was doing things started to get painful. That train of thought that came to me every morning, the one making me wonder if I should quit my job, had by now started to chug through my head all day long.As author Chris Guillebeau writes in his book, The Art of Non-Conformity, one of my most favorite reads:<BLOCKQUOTE>“The pain of making a change must become less than the pain of staying in the current situation.”</BLOCKQUOTE>When this became true for me, I knew I needed to make some changes, or else both my writing and my work would take a hit (not to mention my mental health). I realized that the only way I’d become unstuck was if I came up with some alternative solutions. All-or-nothing just wasn’t realistic, and it wasn’t going to cut it.<h2 data-selectable-paragraph="">Fast forward only a couple of weeks, and I’m now in a completely different situation — I’m living an alternative solution.</h2>Instead of quitting my job, I decided to talk to my boss about going part-time. I explained to her that while I was extremely grateful to have the job, I needed to find a way to make more time for my writing and that I couldn’t wholeheartedly continue putting eight hours of my day into the work I was doing.It was a risk, but it worked out. I’m now working part-time hours at my job and filling in the rest of my workday with writing and other creative work. Honestly, it’s still hard for me to fathom that this is my new life.<h2 data-selectable-paragraph="">I found out that I actually don’t want to quit my job at all.</h2>While I grew to resent the work when I was full-time, as soon as I downgraded my hours I realized it gives me the balance I need. I get to keep my coworkers and stay engaged with a fast-moving company, the data-driven work is a much-needed switch for my writing brain, and I like the structure it brings to my day. As it turns out, going all-or-nothing and quitting my job wasn’t what I wanted at all, I just didn’t know I had other options.I realize that in today’s economic climate, being employed at all should be considered a blessing. What’s more, I realize not everyone is able to negotiate their hours and open up that discussion with their manager to do so. Believe me, the privilege of my situation is not lost on me.But I know that if it happened to me, there must be plenty of other people out there that feel stuck in their career and aren’t seeing alternative solutions. To those people I say, they’re out there.<h1 data-selectable-paragraph="">All-or-nothing doesn’t have to be the only option.</h1>I get that alternative solutions aren’t as neat or attractive as the all-in way of doing things, especially when you’re contemplating the clean break of walking away with your two weeks versus the muddy middle of attempting to work out a job transition with your boss. But the truth is, alternative solutions are just more realistic. Whether it’s burning bridges or taking a leap without a safety net, all-or-nothing decisions come with serious risks, risks that may be worth it at times, granted, but serious risks nonetheless.<h2 data-selectable-paragraph="">Ask yourself: Is all-or-nothing really what I want?</h2>I don’t know your situation, it may well merit taking some serious risks and going all in, but if you haven’t considered alternative solutions to your problem yet, I urge you to do so. Ask yourself, “What in my current situation is really making me unhappy, and what haven’t I thought of yet that could solve it?” Then, once you have your answers, seriously consider them as possible alternatives before you pull the trigger.If you’re feeling stuck because some jackass on the internet said “there is no halfway”, remember that a set of quotation marks and a fancy font doesn’t make something true.There is a halfway — there’s also a quarter way and a three-quarters way—there are as many solutions to a problem as there is time you are willing to take to consider them. It’s time we ditched the all-or-nothing mentality.

A quick scroll through artsy Pinterest quotes under “all-or-nothing” makes that much clear. “Be all in or get all out. There is no halfway,” is one of my personal favorites. Although I get the point…

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Career

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Personal Development

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Time Management

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Entrepreneurship

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Creativity

For most of us, it’s all too easy to fall into an all-or-nothing mentality.

<ol><li>We have ideas about what we think we want. </li><li>They’re not in line with what we have now (they almost never are). </li><li>We convince ourselves that we can’t have what we think we want without first scrapping everything we have now. </li> </ol>

As usual, my point can be summed up pretty neatly by a single song lyric:

“And now the only piece of advice that continues to help Is anyone that’s making anything new only breaks something else” — ‘When My Time Comes’, Dawes

The all-or-nothing mentality is highly romanticized.

A quick scroll through artsy Pinterest quotes under “all-or-nothing” makes that much clear. “Be all in or get all out. There is no halfway,” is one of my personal favorites.

Although I get the point that quotes like these are trying to get across—that you can’t find success if you aren’t fully committed to the search — I feel like that point ends up getting lost in translation all too often. At least, it did for me.

Like most people reading these quotes I imagine, I was at a crossroads. In my case, I was at a crossroads in my career.

I was starting to wake up every morning thinking about quitting.

I would reluctantly shuffle out of bed with that thought in my head, go on to make some coffee, and then sit down to write my article on Medium for the day. The writing time usually flew by, and before I knew it it was time to hop on my morning call for work — that’s when I started to count down the hours until five, at which point I got to editing what I’d written in the morning.

The deeper I got into this new schedule, the more I started to resent my day job. I was happy to be writing consistently, but the more time I spent writing the more I realized how different that time felt than the eight hours I spent working at my job. One could make an hour feel like a minute, the other could make a minute feel like an hour. I wished I could use the hours I’d committed to my day job to write and create content I was passionate about, and I became convinced that the only way to do that was to quit my job.

I felt trapped because I couldn’t go all in.

Without really knowing it, I had convinced myself that there was only one real solution to my problem, and it was a solution that was out of my reach. I couldn’t quit my job.

I mean, I could have — anybody can say the words, “I quit” — but it wouldn’t have made sense (or, rather, it wouldn’t have made “cents”). I wasn’t financially prepared to quit my job. Just the thought alone of quitting without a solid backup to keep me from digging around in my hard-earned savings filled me with anxiety.

I wasted a lot of time in that “should I or shouldn’t I?” grey zone, constantly ping-ponging back and forth between deciding to give my two weeks and settling in for the long-haul at work.

In the end, it was burnout that forced the change.

The way I was doing things started to get painful. That train of thought that came to me every morning, the one making me wonder if I should quit my job, had by now started to chug through my head all day long.

As author Chris Guillebeau writes in his book, The Art of Non-Conformity , one of my most favorite reads:

“The pain of making a change must become less than the pain of staying in the current situation.”

When this became true for me, I knew I needed to make some changes, or else both my writing and my work would take a hit (not to mention my mental health). I realized that the only way I’d become unstuck was if I came up with some alternative solutions. All-or-nothing just wasn’t realistic, and it wasn’t going to cut it.

Fast forward only a couple of weeks, and I’m now in a completely different situation — I’m living an alternative solution.

Instead of quitting my job, I decided to talk to my boss about going part-time. I explained to her that while I was extremely grateful to have the job, I needed to find a way to make more time for my writing and that I couldn’t wholeheartedly continue putting eight hours of my day into the work I was doing.

It was a risk, but it worked out. I’m now working part-time hours at my job and filling in the rest of my workday with writing and other creative work. Honestly, it’s still hard for me to fathom that this is my new life.

I found out that I actually don’t want to quit my job at all.

While I grew to resent the work when I was full-time, as soon as I downgraded my hours I realized it gives me the balance I need. I get to keep my coworkers and stay engaged with a fast-moving company, the data-driven work is a much-needed switch for my writing brain, and I like the structure it brings to my day. As it turns out, going all-or-nothing and quitting my job wasn’t what I wanted at all, I just didn’t know I had other options.

I realize that in today’s economic climate, being employed at all should be considered a blessing. What’s more, I realize not everyone is able to negotiate their hours and open up that discussion with their manager to do so. Believe me, the privilege of my situation is not lost on me.

But I know that if it happened to me, there must be plenty of other people out there that feel stuck in their career and aren’t seeing alternative solutions. To those people I say, they’re out there.

All-or-nothing doesn’t have to be the only option.

I get that alternative solutions aren’t as neat or attractive as the all-in way of doing things, especially when you’re contemplating the clean break of walking away with your two weeks versus the muddy middle of attempting to work out a job transition with your boss. But the truth is, alternative solutions are just more realistic. Whether it’s burning bridges or taking a leap without a safety net, all-or-nothing decisions come with serious risks, risks that may be worth it at times, granted, but serious risks nonetheless.

Ask yourself: Is all-or-nothing really what I want?

I don’t know your situation, it may well merit taking some serious risks and going all in, but if you haven’t considered alternative solutions to your problem yet, I urge you to do so. Ask yourself, “What in my current situation is really making me unhappy, and what haven’t I thought of yet that could solve it?” Then, once you have your answers, seriously consider them as possible alternatives before you pull the trigger.

If you’re feeling stuck because some jackass on the internet said “there is no halfway”, remember that a set of quotation marks and a fancy font doesn’t make something true.

There is a halfway — there’s also a quarter way and a three-quarters way—there are as many solutions to a problem as there is time you are willing to take to consider them. It’s time we ditched the all-or-nothing mentality.

Let’s Ditch the ‘All or Nothing’ Mentality

The all-or-nothing mentality

An alternative to the all-or-nothing mindset

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