Mastering the art of considerate disagreement means expressing your beliefs without shutting down the discussion or angering the other side.
For this to happen, you have to listen more, be willing to change your perspective on disagreement and learn to better your arguments.
Take the time to gather facts that support the opposite point of view.
Ask yourself, “What if I’m wrong?”. This will strengthen your argument by anticipating questions, or you’re going to learn something new and take a more nuanced position.
We tend to focus on what we're going to say next in conversation and we fail to understand the counterargument and really listen to the other party.
Demonstrate that you're listening by reframing their position in your words and then ask for confirmation that you have it right.
Disagreements can create an “us versus them” mentality with clear winners and losers.
A better approach is to ditch the entire notion of winners and losers. Instead, you’re both on the same team working toward a better solution.
It is essential for success. It’s the hallmark of an engaged and involved team member. And it opens the way for testing and improving new ideas.
It should also be treated as a chance to built trust and show mutual understanding.
If you speak in negatives, you will hurt the person and shut them down. if you can bring positivity to what you are trying to say, it's far more likely that you'll be heard, and that the disagreement can be resolved more quickly and easily.
You may decide to hold off voicing your opinion if you want to gather your army first. People can contribute experience or information to your thinking — all the things that would make the disagreement stronger or more valid.
Also, delay the conversation if you’re in a meeting or other public space. Discussing the issue in private will make the powerful person feel less threatened.
Collaborations can be unproductive, time-wasting, and a strain on top employees.
Collaborative organizational structure can drain people’s time and resources, wherein employees are “emailed to death and meetinged to death."