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4 Keys to Developing and Maintaining Friendships

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https://www.huffpost.com/entry/friendships_b_2957789

huffpost.com

4 Keys to Developing and Maintaining Friendships
As the old saying goes, you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose. That is, unless you've developed some really close friendship! We need friendships in our lives to supplement our existing romantic, marital or family relationships.

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Develop and maintain friendships

  • Look for friends with common interests. 
  • Schedule a "first date. There is nothing wrong with inviting someone for coffee or dinner because you think you have so...

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Be a regular

The best way to have friends is to interact with the same person regularly.

Look for activities where the same core people show up. Keep showing up yourself. 

Talk about yourself

Share some details of your life more freely so that your conversation partner doesn't have to interrogate you. If you feel uncomfortable talking too much, give yourself permission to stretch and grow.

Be the conversation starter

Most people are secretly scared of getting rejected.  Assume that people like you and act in kind.

Don't wait for them to start a conversation. Say "hello." They might be relieved you took the initiative.

Close friendship

To be best friends, you are committed to always be on standby. It's not that hard to be there for someone when you can physically be there, but when you're separated by state or time zone, ...

Keep creating shared experiences

When you see a friend regularly, you develop a collection of shared memories. You will also have an intimate understanding of what they're up to generally. If you're separated long-term, those experiences will shrink.

It's important to create something you share with the other individual, not just exchanging information about past experiences. The more opportunities you give yourself to connect, the more organically you'll get to know your friend's new life.

It's going to take more effort

The idea that you can sustain a friendship and pick up right where you left off after long stretches of silence is a myth. A relationship grows stronger through nurturing.
Although long-distance hacks can work for a time, there's no replacement for in-person interaction. It's more expensive and more of a hassle, but it's the best way to recharge a long-distance friendship.

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