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One common tactic is to portray the help we need as so small, that it is barely a favor. "Would you add these updates to the database? It won’t take you more than five minutes.”
It is conveying that you think the work the other person does is easy, quick, trivial and not very taxing. That’s not a great way to enlist help. You might also underestimate the size of the favor. Do not presume it won’t take them very long the next time you ask them for help.
The motivation to be helpful is tied to your helper’s identity and self-esteem. People help because they want to be admired.
Self-benefit (Describing how the receiver is better off for having been given help). “It let me relax.” or “It makes me happy.”
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The former makes people feel better with themselves and that you are more grateful when compared to the latter.
If you have to remind someone that they owe you one, chances are they don’t feel as if they do. Reminding them that they owe you a favor both makes the other person feel as if you’re trying to control them and it makes the other person feel as if you’re keeping a scorecard, and that’s fundamentally bad for relationships.