All the negative actions that you do numbly even though you know they're harmful is because body has developed a program of those as you've repeated them so many times. So even before your brain can command not to do it, the body has already commanded to do it. Then you're living in the past with old behaviour, so you're future won't be different.

You need to pre-emptively ACT the way you want to be, then the personality will change

Take 2 mins before any action and do a different action, it breaks the old neural connection & makes a new one. Repeat over & over for the desired action to stick.

Visualize what you want, the emotions you want to feel, the person you want to be, the success you wana have, the conversation you want to do, repeat over & over to stick.