How to get over ‘never good enough’ | Psyche Guides - Deepstash

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How to get over ‘never good enough’ | Psyche Guides

How to get over ‘never good enough’ | Psyche Guides

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Positive and destructive perfectionism

Constructive or healthy perfectionism is a personality trait that is associated with finding enjoyment and fulfilment from doing things well. The focus is process-oriented, where you learn from your mistakes.

A darker side of perfectionism is a sel...

A possible explanation of why people develop unhealthy perfectionism is that they grow up without a sense of support, safety, and nurturing. Another reason can be a reaction to childhood trauma or extreme cultural expectations, where appearing perfect is a strate...

  1. Your perfectionism is fueled by a constant, critical inner voice of intense shame or fear.
  2. You demonstrate an excessive sense of responsibility and look for solutions.
  3. You are unable to accept and express painful emotions.
  4. You dismiss or discount abuse or trauma.

If you believe you are an unhealthy perfectionist and that it could be masking your own deep-rooted emotional problems, the following stages can benefit you.

  • Consciousness: Becoming aware that your perfectionism is a problem.
  • Co...

Becoming aware of your perfectionism can be very complicated because you've convinced yourself that your perfectionist traits are normal and not a problem. It is good to understand that not everyone is like this.

An exercise to develop more insight into the role that destructive pe...

  1. Adopting such a rigid commitment that if you fail, you'll quit.
  2. Beginning with a goal that's too hard or too big.
  3. Going at your goal alone without accepting help.
  4. Dealing with the fear and shame of giving up your persona.

Rules and beliefs interact. Your beliefs are something you accept to be true. Your rules govern your behaviour. Your rules can limit or expand your beliefs.

Confronting your personal beliefs is about identifying the rules you live by, then considering if they are still rules you wa...

You might be more aware of your own vulnerability and tendency to withdraw. However, if you don't connect with and process your emotional hurt, anger or sadness, they will govern your life.

In a supportive environment, create a timeline, then write 2, 4, 8, 12, 20, etc., on your timeli...

Seeing the positive results from the efforts you are making in dealing with destructive perfectionism will give you hope.

Go through the ten traits associated with perfectionism-fuelled depression, and with support from friends or family, think about specific ways you can ...

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