deepstash
Beta
Deepstash brings you key ideas from the most inspiring articles like this one:
Read more efficiently
Save what inspires you
Remember anything
How to get over ‘never good enough’ | Psyche Guides
9
Key Ideas
Save all ideas
Positive and destructive perfectionism
Constructive or healthy perfectionism is a personality trait that is associated with finding enjoyment and fulfilment from doing things well. The focus is process-oriented,...
108 SAVES
The roots of destructive perfectionism
A possible explanation of why people develop unhealthy perfectionism is that they grow up without a sense of support, safety, and nurturing. Another reason can be a reactio...
88 SAVES
Traits of a perfectly hidden depression syndrome
- Your perfectionism is fueled by a constant, critical inner voice of intense shame or fear.
- You demonstrate an excessive sense of responsibility and look for solutions.
- Yo...
105 SAVES
Healing from unhealthy perfectionism
If you believe you are an unhealthy perfectionist and that it could be masking your own deep-rooted emotional problems, the following stages can benefit you.
- Consciousnes...
93 SAVES
Being aware of your perfectionism
Becoming aware of your perfectionism can be very complicated because you've convinced yourself that your perfectionist traits are normal and not a problem. It is good to understand that not eve...
85 SAVES
The stumbling blocks preventing you from challenging perfectionism
- Adopting such a rigid commitment that if you fail, you'll quit.
- Beginning with a goal that's too hard or too big.
- Going at your goal alone w...
84 SAVES
Confronting your personal beliefs
Rules and beliefs interact. Your beliefs are something you accept to be true. Your rules govern your behaviour. Your rules can limit or expand your beliefs.
Confronting your personal belief...
83 SAVES
Connecting with lost feelings
You might be more aware of your own vulnerability and tendency to withdraw. However, if you don't connect with and process your emotional hurt, anger or sadness, they will govern your life.
...85 SAVES
Changing your behavior
Seeing the positive results from the efforts you are making in dealing with destructive perfectionism will give you hope.
Go through the ten traits associated with perfecti...
83 SAVES
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
7
Key Ideas
Do a weekly review to reflect on your progress
Try to identify things you avoided due to fear of failure and situations where your perfectionism wasn’t worth it or moments where you did well despite being uncertain.
Your objective here is to learn where perfectionism has a positive impact and where it does not.
Get an outside perspective on your perfectionist tendencies
Talk honestly and openly to someone about your tendencies and how you’re working on getting better.
Ask them to tell you when you are being too fussy about something so you can think about it.
Interrupting the cycle of rumination
- Take note of when you’re ruminating and what triggers it until you can see your patterns and find ways to counteract them.
- Don't trust your first reaction when ruminating. Most of the time, it colors negatively your read of the situation.
- Seek a diversion to break the rumination cycle.
- Think positively: remembering your successes and times you tried new things helps you to not be avoidant of tasks you can’t do perfectly.
6
Key Ideas
The Issue With Perfectionism
The more you chase perfectionism, the more likely you are to procrastinate and then get stressed out when things don’t go exactly how you wanted them to.
Research even indicates that even when perfectionists get higher salaries, they are more unhappy with their work.
Standards vs Reality
Most perfectionists can’t see their standards are unrealistic and bad for them. To find if you’re a perfectionist, ask yourself if your standards:
- ... are higher than those of others.
- ... can be met by you or others.
- ... help or get in the way of you achieving your goals.
- ... can be relaxed without affecting much the end result.
Thinking Like An Athlete
In sports, the drive for perfectionism is a positive force and turn setbacks into opportunities to reflect, learn, and adjust your approach. But regular perfectionists keep revisiting past failures as a form of self-condemnation.
All this does is cause them to raise the bar even higher, increasing the likelihood of failure. Try to see failure as simply a launching place for success, so you can break away from perfectionism.
2
Key Ideas
Vulnerability
You cannot outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite. The inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limit the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty, like love, belonging, trust, joy and creativity.
Daring greatly
... is about showing up and being seen, about owning our vulnerability and understanding it as the birthplace of courage.
Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both.
- What’s keeping you out of the arena? Can you name the fear? Where do you want to be braver?
- Figure out how you’re currently protecting yourself from vulnerability: Perfectionism, Cynicism, Control etc.