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Rigid Thoughts: Feeling Stuck In Negative Emotions
We get stuck in our emotions due to our spiralling mind, our fixation with old ideas and behaviours, our need to be always right, perfectionism and thinking in absolute terms.
When faced with strong reactive emotion, we are usually unable to understand that our emotions are dynamic and start acting like wind-up toys doing the same motions, not being aware of other possibilities and options.
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Things We Do To Cope-Up With Negative Feelings
These are the three usual suspects, stuff we do to cope-up with our emotions:
- Bottling up our emotions, leading to stress.
- Brooding over our emotions, which usually leads to self-blame.
- Forcing ourselves to see everything as positive, which can be delusional in many cases.
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Get Unstuck: Cultivating Emotional Agility
- Acknowledge and accept the various bad ways used to cope-up with negative emotions.
- Identify the feelings and be comfortable with the uncomfortable emotions like frustration and hopelessness.
- Start a journal and write down your deepest feelings and insecurities.
- Look for clues in these negative thoughts, trying to find the underlying cause or pattern.
- Identify the basic inconsistencies and try to make a course correction in the right direction.
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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
100 Percent Commitment
Clear-cut, zero-tolerance decisions and self-commitments are better than having to decide every time, or committing conditionally.
A 100 percent decision is better than a conditional dec...
Loose Commitment And Decision Fatigue
If you are only 90 percent committed to your goal (like following a certain diet, for example) you have to ask yourself and test your commitment multiple times a day.
You end up unable to predict your behaviour, and any future outcomes. By having a loose commitment setting in your mind, you are bound to deal with decision fatigue and see yourself repeatedly fail, lowering your confidence.
Setting In Stone Future Behavior
When the commitment is 100 percent, your future behaviour is already set in stone, with no back-and-forth struggle and revisiting of the decision-making condition.
When your best friend offers you a Coke, you know very well that the decision to not have anything like that is already made, and it is easy to say no.
Improvisation
Improvisation is something we are all likely to deal with once in a while. Life is full of moments that require our skill to improvise, so we should try and improve at this, as it is not only neces...
Tips to turn improvisation into a piece a cake
If you ever find yourself in need to improvise, but have no clue as how to manage this, have a look at the below tips:
- listen carefully: in order to make sure you are doing it right, focus only on listening, make eye contact and understand as much as possible the other's feelings
- accept the challenge: whenever you deal with uncertainty, embrace 'yes' rather than 'no'
- get used to committing: the best way to connect to somebody is by actually committing to the discussion you are having with that very person.
Practice makes perfect
As in every field of our lives, also when it comes to improvisation, practice makes perfect. Therefore, go ahead and take advantage of every opportunity to practice your new skill.
Choices define us
Choices define us in all the fields, on all the levels. Whether it is about our personal or professional life, choices make us who we are. And sometimes these can differ from what the others choose...
The 80/20 rule for building connections
Most people spend 80% of their time trying to get people to notice them by showing off how different they are and 20% trying to find something in common once they have some attention.
What you should really be doing instead is spending 80% of your time finding common ground with people you want to get to know, and 20% of your time falling back on those unique things that set you apart.
Be a valuable connection
In order to establish new connections, you should try to highlight what you have in common with others. However, while doing this, make sure you also integrate elements that set you apart: unique experiences that make you who you are today.
After all, your new friends will like you for everything you represent, not only what they perceive as being familiar.