One of the most important things when planning your new year is not trying to change too many things at once.
Focus on achieving one change that can then be turned into a habit, because once something is a habit you are likely to do it every day.

Feel better guide: Keep your resolutions manageable

For the new year, focus on good quality sleep as the foundation of good health and longevity.
We are in control of having a regular bedtime and wake-up time and establishing good sleep habits. Once these are set, you'll be in a better place to tackle other goals, such as a regular exercise routine and nutrition.

Feel better guide: Keep your sleep habits under control

So much of the internal problems we have start from beating ourselves up.
Pay attention to how you speak to yourself and try to come to an internal conversation that is not about being hard on yourself.

Feel better guide: adopt a self-compassion mindset

While there are things that are simply outside of your control, there are lots of actionable steps you can take to seize control and feel better. 

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How to Feel Better About Yourself

Normally a fan of January goal-setting, 2021 feels different for Brigid Delaney – with the help of experts she’s aiming for more humble but longer lasting good habits<picture itemprop="contentUrl"><source srcset="https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/eaa8d9b44696d4996aff92ea426e824f1f905022/0_0_3780_2268/master/3780.jpg?width=620&amp;quality=45&amp;auto=format&amp;fit=max&amp;dpr=2&amp;s=4c07402a8170966116e410445de3a285 1240w, https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/eaa8d9b44696d4996aff92ea426e824f1f905022/0_0_3780_2268/master/3780.jpg?width=605&amp;quality=45&amp;auto=format&amp;fit=max&amp;dpr=2&amp;s=86946f7522f5aec4873b1928ee2b0543 1210w, https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/eaa8d9b44696d4996aff92ea426e824f1f905022/0_0_3780_2268/master/3780.jpg?width=445&amp;quality=45&amp;auto=format&amp;fit=max&amp;dpr=2&amp;s=8e26174b5709dd3f1c9d89429ec5648e 890w" sizes="(min-width: 660px) 620px, 100vw" media="(-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1.25), (min-resolution: 120dpi)"><source srcset="https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/eaa8d9b44696d4996aff92ea426e824f1f905022/0_0_3780_2268/master/3780.jpg?width=620&amp;quality=85&amp;auto=format&amp;fit=max&amp;s=ffa7e8d29787d4d7ec1b85c9e7188e69 620w, https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/eaa8d9b44696d4996aff92ea426e824f1f905022/0_0_3780_2268/master/3780.jpg?width=605&amp;quality=85&amp;auto=format&amp;fit=max&amp;s=b3619a3944889a8f3187be84b88f3c62 605w, https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/eaa8d9b44696d4996aff92ea426e824f1f905022/0_0_3780_2268/master/3780.jpg?width=445&amp;quality=85&amp;auto=format&amp;fit=max&amp;s=5e1047a5e0fc56d68626876c4e553909 445w" sizes="(min-width: 660px) 620px, 100vw"><img alt="Stock photo of a woman with outstretched arms waking up, silhouetted by a sunrise" src="https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/eaa8d9b44696d4996aff92ea426e824f1f905022/0_0_3780_2268/master/3780.jpg?width=445&amp;quality=45&amp;auto=format&amp;fit=max&amp;dpr=2&amp;s=8e26174b5709dd3f1c9d89429ec5648e" height="407" width="678"></picture><figcaption dir="ltr">Quality sleep is the foundation of good health and longevity, geriatrician Dr Kate Gregorevic says. Photograph: Panpreeda Mahaly/Getty Images/EyeEm</figcaption><img src="https://i.guim.co.uk/img/uploads/2017/11/29/Brigid_Delaney,_L.png?width=300&amp;quality=85&amp;auto=format&amp;fit=max&amp;s=452d5894440c27227d3d320be610bdee" alt="Brigid Delaney" width="60" height="60"><div><label for="dateToggle">Thu 31 Dec 2020 11.30 EST</label></div>Last modified on Thu 31 Dec 2020 11.32 EST<div data-testid="long-share-count" aria-hidden="true">118</div>It’s the first day of 2021 and I’m already … tired. Usually at this time of year, I have a list of resolutions and goals for the year that I’m bursting with energy to implement. New Year? Bring. It. On.But this year, after collapsing over the finishing line of 2020 – there’s not a lot of juice in the tank for New Year’s resolutions.Burnout – <a href="https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work" data-link-name="in body link" dir="ltr">previously a millennial thing</a> – affected just about everyone in 2020. Whether you were an essential worker who had to deal with the stress and uncertainty of being out there, working from home with a brain fried after hours a day on Zoom meetings, someone who had lost work during the pandemic, or a parent who suddenly found yourself homeschooling during the day and doom-scrolling at night – no one got out of 2020 unscathed.Doing more exercise, dropping some kilos, saving money, spending less time on social media, establishing a meditation practice – many traditional New Year’s resolutions are not wholly pandemic-proof. Until there’s a widely available vaccine, 2021 could deliver more of the same shocks and disruptions: coming in and out of lockdown, facilities like gyms shutting, routines being disrupted as we shuttle between working from home and returning to the office.So Guardian Australia assembled a team of experts to advise us on creating more humble, but potentially more achievable and long-lasting new habits.Each expert was given a brief: make it as pandemic-proof and achievable as possible, and assume that the people they are advising are really, really tired.This week, I’m focusing on starting small, shifting my mindset and recognising that habits are linked.<h2>The framework: habit stacking (and starting small)</h2>Dr Breanna Wright, a behavioural change expert from <a href="https://www.behaviourworksaustralia.org/" data-link-name="in body link" dir="ltr">Monash University</a>, says if you are already starting 2021 feeling burnt-out – you should keep your resolutions manageable.“One of the most important things is not trying to change too many things at once.”Instead we should start “trying to achieve one change” that can then be turned into a habit. “That’s when the change is really powerful – because once something is a habit you are likely to do it every day.”When picking a habit to implement “it’s better to focus on one thing at a time and make it specific”.Action: She advises tying the new habit into an established routine that won’t change – such as meditating in the morning (new habit) before you brush your teeth (old habit).“If you set up a habit based on something that may change – such as exercising in the middle of the day, then when you go back to the office, you may not be able to keep up that change. Best keep it small and tie the habit into something that won’t change, like getting up in the morning.”<h2>The first step: sleep</h2>Each expert I spoke with said that new healthy habits were connected to each other. So cutting back on drinking alcohol leads to better sleep and better sleep leads to more energy and more energy leads to better food and exercise choices, and so on.Dr Kate Gregorevic is a geriatrician and internal medicine physician, and author of the book Staying Alive. She says that my first building block should be focusing on good quality sleep as the foundation of good health and longevity.“We all know how awful you feel after a bad night’s sleep. You are grumpy, you don’t have the same appetite regulation, you’re more likely to reach for ‘sometimes food’ and skip the workout. 2020 has been so stressful – we have all had this incredible tension we’ve lived with for months on end.”<img src="https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/7cda3d4763282fc9f0c2a058ef1bfef34168730f/0_171_5121_3073/master/5121.jpg?width=460&amp;quality=85&amp;auto=format&amp;fit=max&amp;s=f01ea2e8a657967a3d844db7d7c35cf0" alt="" width="140" height="84">But we can control “having a regular bedtime and wake-up time and establishing good sleep habits”, says Gregorevic.Once I have my sleep habits under control, I’ll be in a better place to tackle other goals, such as a regular exercise routine and nutrition.Action: My bedtimes vary wildly from 9pm to 1am – and I don’t have a set time when I wake up. My first task of the new year is to try a week of set bedtime and wake-up times, and avoid the medications I sometimes take to help me sleep (farewell Valium, my old pal!).Gregorevic also advises I develop a wind-down routine to get myself ready for bed. This should include reading a book for 30 minutes before bedtime instead of scrolling through social media. So for a week, I’ll also keep my phone out of the bedroom.Hopefully after establishing good sleep habits, in weeks two and beyond I’ll feel fresh enough to put in more building blocks to set up for a healthy 2021 – including developing an exercise routine.<h2>The mindset: self-compassion</h2>Kate James, a life coach and author of Change Your Thinking to Change Your Life, suggests I need to start noticing myself talk.James advises clients on mindfulness and self-compassion, which are especially important if you are experiencing 2020 burnout. She suggests I “try to come to an internal conversation with yourself that is not being hard on yourself. So much of the internal problems we have start from beating yourself up. For example if you’ve had too much to drink, you’ll wake up at 3am and berate yourself.”She instead advises detachment when you start thinking negatively about yourself. Make note of what you are saying, then ask yourself: “Am I treating myself with compassion and care?” Often the answer is no.Action: Pay attention to how I speak to myself. James says once you start paying attention to your inner monologue you are more likely to be kinder to yourself and encourage good habits rather than putting yourself down over bad ones. So, if I lie awake past my new bedtime, at least I can avoid beating myself up over it.<div>It's not too late to give!</div><div>$1,358,576</div><div>contributed</div><h2>Since you're here ... </h2>... we have a small favour to ask. As we prepare for what promises to be a pivotal year for America, we’re asking you to consider a gift to help fund our journalism. Millions are flocking daily to the Guardian for open, independent, quality news that is funded by readers like you. Support from our readers has kept Guardian journalism free for everyone else, and has enabled the following:<LI>The Fight to Vote, our year-long series on voter suppression and election integrity ahead of the 2020 election, was read 19 million times around the world</LI><LI>We consider the global climate crisis the defining issue of our time, and published 4,000 stories on climate and the environment in 2020 </LI><LI>Nearly 1,500 US healthcare workers have died during the Covid-19 crisis – a grim statistic we know only because the Guardian has tracked healthcare worker deaths, in the absence of reliable government data. The majority of deaths were people of colour</LI><LI>People in 180 countries around the world have read the Guardian since January 2020</LI>We believe everyone deserves access to information that is grounded in science and truth, and analysis rooted in authority and integrity. That’s why we made a different choice: to keep our reporting open for all readers, regardless of where they live or what they can afford to pay. Powerful journalism drives change; this is <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/nov/24/guardian-fundraiser-end-of-year-2020-contribute" dir="ltr">some of the high-impact reporting</a> that Guardian readers funded in 2020. In these perilous times, an independent, global news organisation like the Guardian is essential. We have no shareholders or billionaire owner, meaning our journalism is free from commercial and political influence. If there was ever a time to join us, it is now. Your funding powers our journalism. We’re asking readers to help us raise $1.25m to support our reporting in the new year. Every contribution, however big or small, will help us reach our goal. Make a gift now starting from as little as $1. Thank you.

Normally a fan of January goal-setting, 2021 feels different for Brigid Delaney – with the help of experts she’s aiming for more humble but longer lasting good habits

habits

Habits

Normally a fan of January goal-setting, 2021 feels different for Brigid Delaney – with the help of experts she’s aiming for more humble but longer lasting good habits

Last modified on Thu 31 Dec 2020 11.32 EST

I t’s the first day of 2021 and I’m already … tired. Usually at this time of year, I have a list of resolutions and goals for the year that I’m bursting with energy to implement. New Year? Bring. It. On.

But this year, after collapsing over the finishing line of 2020 – there’s not a lot of juice in the tank for New Year’s resolutions.

Burnout – <a href="https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work">previously a millennial thing </a>– affected just about everyone in 2020. Whether you were an essential worker who had to deal with the stress and uncertainty of being out there , working from home with a brain fried after hours a day on Zoom meetings, someone who had lost work during the pandemic, or a parent who suddenly found yourself homeschooling during the day and doom-scrolling at night – no one got out of 2020 unscathed.

Doing more exercise, dropping some kilos, saving money, spending less time on social media, establishing a meditation practice – many traditional New Year’s resolutions are not wholly pandemic-proof. Until there’s a widely available vaccine, 2021 could deliver more of the same shocks and disruptions: coming in and out of lockdown, facilities like gyms shutting, routines being disrupted as we shuttle between working from home and returning to the office.

So Guardian Australia assembled a team of experts to advise us on creating more humble, but potentially more achievable and long-lasting new habits.

Each expert was given a brief: make it as pandemic-proof and achievable as possible, and assume that the people they are advising are really, really tired.

This week, I’m focusing on starting small, shifting my mindset and recognising that habits are linked.

The framework: habit stacking (and starting small)

Dr Breanna Wright, a behavioural change expert from <a href="https://www.behaviourworksaustralia.org/">Monash University </a>, says if you are already starting 2021 feeling burnt-out – you should keep your resolutions manageable.

“One of the most important things is not trying to change too many things at once.”

Instead we should start “trying to achieve one change” that can then be turned into a habit. “That’s when the change is really powerful – because once something is a habit you are likely to do it every day.”

When picking a habit to implement “it’s better to focus on one thing at a time and make it specific”.

Action: She advises tying the new habit into an established routine that won’t change – such as meditating in the morning (new habit) before you brush your teeth (old habit).

“If you set up a habit based on something that may change – such as exercising in the middle of the day, then when you go back to the office, you may not be able to keep up that change. Best keep it small and tie the habit into something that won’t change, like getting up in the morning.”

Each expert I spoke with said that new healthy habits were connected to each other. So cutting back on drinking alcohol leads to better sleep and better sleep leads to more energy and more energy leads to better food and exercise choices, and so on.

Dr Kate Gregorevic is a geriatrician and internal medicine physician, and author of the book Staying Alive. She says that my first building block should be focusing on good quality sleep as the foundation of good health and longevity.

“We all know how awful you feel after a bad night’s sleep. You are grumpy, you don’t have the same appetite regulation, you’re more likely to reach for ‘sometimes food’ and skip the workout. 2020 has been so stressful – we have all had this incredible tension we’ve lived with for months on end.”

But we can control “having a regular bedtime and wake-up time and establishing good sleep habits”, says Gregorevic.

Once I have my sleep habits under control, I’ll be in a better place to tackle other goals, such as a regular exercise routine and nutrition.

Action: My bedtimes vary wildly from 9pm to 1am – and I don’t have a set time when I wake up. My first task of the new year is to try a week of set bedtime and wake-up times, and avoid the medications I sometimes take to help me sleep (farewell Valium, my old pal!).

Gregorevic also advises I develop a wind-down routine to get myself ready for bed. This should include reading a book for 30 minutes before bedtime instead of scrolling through social media. So for a week, I’ll also keep my phone out of the bedroom.

Hopefully after establishing good sleep habits, in weeks two and beyond I’ll feel fresh enough to put in more building blocks to set up for a healthy 2021 – including developing an exercise routine.

Kate James, a life coach and author of Change Your Thinking to Change Your Life, suggests I need to start noticing myself talk.

James advises clients on mindfulness and self-compassion, which are especially important if you are experiencing 2020 burnout. She suggests I “try to come to an internal conversation with yourself that is not being hard on yourself. So much of the internal problems we have start from beating yourself up. For example if you’ve had too much to drink, you’ll wake up at 3am and berate yourself.”

She instead advises detachment when you start thinking negatively about yourself. Make note of what you are saying, then ask yourself: “Am I treating myself with compassion and care?” Often the answer is no.

Action : Pay attention to how I speak to myself. James says once you start paying attention to your inner monologue you are more likely to be kinder to yourself and encourage good habits rather than putting yourself down over bad ones. So, if I lie awake past my new bedtime, at least I can avoid beating myself up over it.

... we have a small favour to ask. As we prepare for what promises to be a pivotal year for America, we’re asking you to consider a gift to help fund our journalism.

Millions are flocking daily to the Guardian for open, independent, quality news that is funded by readers like you. Support from our readers has kept Guardian journalism free for everyone else, and has enabled the following:

We believe everyone deserves access to information that is grounded in science and truth, and analysis rooted in authority and integrity. That’s why we made a different choice: to keep our reporting open for all readers, regardless of where they live or what they can afford to pay. Powerful journalism drives change; this is <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/nov/24/guardian-fundraiser-end-of-year-2020-contribute">some of the high-impact reporting </a>that Guardian readers funded in 2020.

In these perilous times, an independent, global news organisation like the Guardian is essential. We have no shareholders or billionaire owner, meaning our journalism is free from commercial and political influence.

If there was ever a time to join us, it is now. Your funding powers our journalism. We’re asking readers to help us raise $1.25m to support our reporting in the new year. Every contribution, however big or small, will help us reach our goal. Make a gift now starting from as little as $1. Thank you.

Burnt-out resolutions: a feel-better guide for the already tired

Feel better guide: Keep your resolutions manageable

Feel better guide: Keep your sleep habits under control

Feel better guide: adopt a self-compassion mindset

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