When we set goals, we are not that great at assessing our own ability to achieve them.
Because whether or not a goal is truly attainable can only be known when we start working on it.

Believing that long shots are feasible

Although setting goals is an important tool for self-motivation, but we tend to be overconfident beings, especially when a goal is linked to our self-esteem (we want to feel good about ourselves when it comes to achievements and aspirations). So when we assess our own capabilities at taking on goals, we tend to be excessively optimistic.

The psychology of unattainable goals

<ul>
<li>The persistent pursuit of unattainable goals can lead to higher achievements: focusing on smaller accomplishments can bolster positive feelings, motivating us to take on more goals in the same category. As long as we know that unattainable goals are not really about the destination, but the journey, they can be quite healthy.</li>
<li>But unattainable goals often end in failures and how people react to failure varies greatly.</li>
<li>Another potential mental trap following failure is the “false hope syndrome.” In this case, we tend to (mis)attribute the failure to reasons other than the fact that the goal was unattainable to start with.</li>
</ul>

The persistent pursuit of unattainable goals

<ul>
<li>Don’t negate your progress as there is power in small wins.</li>
<li>Don’t dwell on the failure: Reflect on your journey to achieving your goal.</li>
<li>Think about related benefits: While you may not have achieved your goal fully, not all is lost.</li>
<li>Ask for an objective analysis: We need to understand why we really failed. </li>
<li>Take a third-person perspective, to help you reset your expectations.</li>
</ul>

Stop letting failed goals pull you down

<img src="https://hbr.org/resources/images/article_assets/2020/12/A_Dec20_16_80566633.jpg" width="630" height="354"><div class="caption" dir="ltr">
				Tobias Titz/Getty Images
		</div><div more-caption="more" close-caption="close" dir="ltr">
		Summary.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
		There is merit in setting stretch goals, but we need to manage how we react to failure. If we don’t, we may ultimately end up demotivating ourselves.

Try celebrating small wins. Suppose your goal was to read 100 books in the year and you read only 12; it’s proof enough that you’re capable of...&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<button dir="ltr">more</button>
	</div><img src="https://hbr.org/resources/images/article_assets/2020/10/Ascend_Logo_2020_2x.png" alt="Ascend logo" width="105" height="25">Job and life advice for young professionals. See more from Ascend <a href="https://hbr.org/insight-center/ascend" dir="ltr">here</a>.Every December, many of us find ourselves scribbling resolutions at the back of our journals or making mental notes of what we’ll achieve the following year. Yet, one <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0899-3289(88)80016-6" dir="ltr">study</a>&nbsp;suggests that a mere 19% of people achieve those same goals over the following two years.There are many <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.54.7.493" dir="ltr">reasons</a> — not knowing <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0956797610384745?casa_token=V0Xx_KO5eGsAAAAA:cZueAy8lLnDR6VwcgLTQZcWP44UJ-r0_RzgZuq7-LnW3ye-hnMJzXKFiKhKWda1Z9ImVm4F4KWkG" dir="ltr">how to pursue</a> the goal, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0956797610384745?casa_token=V0Xx_KO5eGsAAAAA:cZueAy8lLnDR6VwcgLTQZcWP44UJ-r0_RzgZuq7-LnW3ye-hnMJzXKFiKhKWda1Z9ImVm4F4KWkG" dir="ltr">insufficient willpower</a>, choosing vague goals,&nbsp;or encountering unanticipated external forces (e.g., illness, economic downturn).But another big reason is that, in our quest to lead better lives, we often set unattainable goals — ones that are too difficult for us to meet because we don’t have the energy, skills, or resources required to bring them to fruition.Objectively speaking, whether or not a goal is truly attainable can only be known when we start working on it. When we set goals, we are not the best at measuring our own ability to achieve them. In fact, many of us sincerely believe that long shots are feasible.Take the example of people who are always looking for a new diet. Many dieters fail to stick to a demanding nutrition plan because we underestimate the gustatory sacrifices we’ll have to make. On the surface, it seems deceptively simple — just a matter of altering our food choices. But not many of us realize how it’s actually a complete change of lifestyle. We’re not just giving up on carbs tonight, for example, we’re not going to eat them for an entire month.Why do people often set goals that they cannot actually accomplish?<h2>The Psychology of Unattainable Goals</h2><a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1990-97846-000" dir="ltr">Goal setting</a> is important for <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/jcr/ucv008" dir="ltr">self-motivation and drive</a> as it gives meaning and purpose to what we do. But humans tend to be <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.115.2.502" dir="ltr">overconfident creatures</a>, especially when a goal is linked to our self-esteem. Fundamentally, it is important to our psychological well-being — we want to feel good about ourselves not only in terms of our accomplishments but also in terms of our aspirations. Therefore, when we assess our own capabilities at taking on goals, we tend to be <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1529-1006.2004.00018.x" dir="ltr">excessively charitable</a>.Having said that, some of us are more strategic. When we are uncertain about our likelihood of success — or even when we know that the likelihood is slim — we still choose to set a long-shot goal. The hope is that holding such a goal can help us attain more — even if we do not end up reaching the goal, we’ll get somewhere.For example, you may set yourself the goal of getting an A in every single course next school year, despite having received very few As in previous years. Whether or not your circumstances allow for straight As, you might choose to pursue “mission impossible,” knowing that, you’ll get higher grades overall if you do. Setting a more modest and achievable goal like getting at least a B in every course will probably not give you those same results.<h2>Are Unattainable Goals Good or Bad?</h2>The answer is two-fold.On the bright side, the persistent pursuit of unattainable goals can lead to higher achievements. People who suspected beforehand that a goal was unattainable may later think, “If I didn’t attempt that goal, I would have achieved a lot less than what I have now. So, I’m much better off for having tried.”Focusing on smaller accomplishments can bolster positive feelings, motivating us to take on more goals in the same category. As long as we know that unattainable goals are not really about the destination, but the journey, they can be quite healthy.Οn the dark side, unattainable goals often end in failures and how people react to failure varies greatly. For some, especially those who put a great deal of time and effort into a long-shot goal, failure can be a crushing blow. If not managed well, fixating on the fact that one failed may lead to negative self-fulfilling prophecies or self-critical thinking (“I’m just not cut out for this,” or “I’m worthless.”). Prolonged thoughts like these can lead to a psychological downward spiral.For instance, the same student who strived for straight As may end up believing that they just are not “smart” enough if they fail, when in fact, the situation is much more nuanced. This person may then abandon future academic pursuits and experience lower self-esteem.Another potential mental trap following failure is the “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.57.9.677" dir="ltr">false hope syndrome</a>.” In this case, we tend to (mis)attribute the failure to reasons other than the fact that the goal was unattainable to start with. For instance, a failure to get straight As can be attributed to a bad professor, to boring assignments, or to a distracting relationship.These (mis)attributions can be dangerous — especially when they start to involve other people. Further, the accompanying belief that “things will surely be different next time” can lead someone to try to achieve the unattainable goal yet again, initiating an endless cycle of failure with devastating emotional costs.<h2>How Can We Do Better?</h2>While there is merit in setting stretch or long-shot goals, we need to manage how we react to failure. Here are some ways to stop yourself from letting failed goals pull you down.Celebrate small wins: Don’t negate your progress as there is <a href="https://hbr.org/2011/05/the-power-of-small-wins" dir="ltr">power in small wins</a>. Suppose your goal was to read 36 books in the year and you read only 10; it’s proof enough that you’re capable of moving the needle and making a change for the better. This is also known as the <a href="http://progressprinciple.com/books/single/the_progress_principle" dir="ltr">Progress Principle</a>, which says that progress contributes to positive emotions, strong motivation, and helps spiral your productivity upward. You did achieve something, so celebrate that!Don’t dwell on the failure: Reflect on your journey to achieving your goal. Think about what worked and what didn’t. What were your roadblocks? Then lay out the specific actions you can take to make improvements. This can help bolster your drive and confidence. Importantly, reflecting can also help you identify activities that were truly enjoyable and facilitated working toward the goal. For example, maybe you liked taking a break from social media to avoid distractions while studying for school, but you didn’t like isolating yourself from social interactions for long periods of time. Knowing what you enjoyed, and what you didn’t, can help you set your goal more strategically next time.Think about “accidental” or related benefits: While you may not have achieved your goal fully, not all is lost. Attempting difficult goals may yield unexpected benefits. For example, in pursuing your goal to get fitter, the physical exercises, might have may have helped <a href="https://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/12/exercise" dir="ltr">improve your mood</a>&nbsp;and increased your mental acuity, and as a result, improved your performance in unrelated areas.Ask for an objective analysis: We need to understand why we really failed. One simple approach is to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/j.1529-1006.2004.00018.x?casa_token=OLFlyveKKAUAAAAA:x0In_927_Ib1o40MpIHChOfOj6Au4rQiCmQWKgdA0SKc1npUaqLd-It4ftOIaAzEVtv5w9EWbiA" dir="ltr">ask a friend or family member</a> for a “post-failure autopsy.” For example, a friend may candidly tell you that you failed your academic goal because you often came up with excuses for not studying or that you didn’t read more books because you preferred listening to a podcast. A reality check from a trusted source may help you better understand yourself.Take a third person perspective:&nbsp;Finally, <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2007-11239-004" dir="ltr">this approach</a> can help you set your expectations from the start. When you lay a goal for yourself, you don’t always have all the necessary information that could predict if you are likely to achieve it or not. For instance, the analysis may reveal that, for the person to succeed at the same academic goal, they needed to study X hours per day or have Y amount of research resources to reference. If you did not have X or Y when you pursued the goal last time, you should ensure that you have at least those before you try again.This year, you may still choose to go high on your goals, and if you do, use these tips to get better at managing your response failure. Remember: it’s not really about the destination. It’s about getting the most our of your journey to success.<UL><LI><author-avatar data-url="" data-author-name="Haiyang Yang" data-js-target="author-avatar">
					HY
				</author-avatar><div dir="ltr">
					
						<a href="https://hbr.org/search?term=haiyang%20yang&amp;search_type=search-all" dir="ltr">Haiyang Yang</a> is an Assistant Professor of Marketing&nbsp;at Johns Hopkins Carey Business School, Johns Hopkins University (U.S.). He studies decision-making. His work has appeared in premier journals such as the Journal of Marketing Research, Journal of Consumer Research, Journal of Consumer Psychology, and Psychological Science.
					
		</div></LI><LI><author-avatar data-url="" data-author-name="Antonios Stamatogiannakis" data-js-target="author-avatar">
					AS
				</author-avatar><div dir="ltr">
					
						<a href="https://hbr.org/search?term=antonios%20stamatogiannakis&amp;search_type=search-all" dir="ltr">Antonios Stamatogiannakis</a>is an Assistant Professor of Marketing&nbsp;at IE Business School – IE University (Spain). He studies visual marketing, branding, and consumer motivation. His work has appeared in premier journals such as the Journal of Marketing Research, Journal of Consumer Research, and Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes.
					
		</div></LI><LI><author-avatar data-url="" data-author-name="Amitava Chattopadhyay" data-js-target="author-avatar">
					AC
				</author-avatar><div dir="ltr">
					
						<a href="https://hbr.org/search?term=amitava%20chattopadhyay&amp;search_type=search-all" dir="ltr">Amitava Chattopadhyay</a>&nbsp;is the GlaxoSmithKline Chaired Professor of Corporate Innovation at INSEAD. He is co-author of&nbsp;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-New-Emerging-Market-Multinationals/dp/0071782893" dir="ltr">The New Emerging Market Multinationals: Four Strategies for Disrupting Markets and Building Brands</a>. You can follow him on Twitter&nbsp;<a href="https://twitter.com/AmitavaChats" dir="ltr">@AmitavaChats</a>.

&nbsp;
					
		</div></LI><LI><author-avatar data-url="" data-author-name="Dipankar Chakravarti" data-js-target="author-avatar">
					DC
				</author-avatar><div dir="ltr">
					
						<a href="https://hbr.org/search?term=dipankar%20chakravarti&amp;search_type=search-all" dir="ltr">Dipankar Chakravarti</a> is the Sonny Merryman Inc. Professor in Business at the Pamplin College of Business of Virginia Tech.
					
		</div></LI></UL>

The pros and cons of being an overachiever.

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

timemanagement

Time Management

Job and life advice for young professionals. See more from Ascend <a dir="ltr" href="https://hbr.org/insight-center/ascend">here </a>.

Every December, many of us find ourselves scribbling resolutions at the back of our journals or making mental notes of what we’ll achieve the following year. Yet, one <a dir="ltr" href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0899-3289(88)80016-6">study </a> suggests that a mere 19% of people achieve those same goals over the following two years.

There are many <a dir="ltr" href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.54.7.493">reasons </a>— not knowing <a dir="ltr" href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0956797610384745?casa_token=V0Xx_KO5eGsAAAAA:cZueAy8lLnDR6VwcgLTQZcWP44UJ-r0_RzgZuq7-LnW3ye-hnMJzXKFiKhKWda1Z9ImVm4F4KWkG">how to pursue </a>the goal, <a dir="ltr" href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0956797610384745?casa_token=V0Xx_KO5eGsAAAAA:cZueAy8lLnDR6VwcgLTQZcWP44UJ-r0_RzgZuq7-LnW3ye-hnMJzXKFiKhKWda1Z9ImVm4F4KWkG">insufficient willpower </a>, choosing vague goals,  or encountering unanticipated external forces (e.g., illness, economic downturn).

But another big reason is that, in our quest to lead better lives, we often set unattainable goals — ones that are too difficult for us to meet because we don’t have the energy, skills, or resources required to bring them to fruition.

Objectively speaking, whether or not a goal is truly attainable can only be known when we start working on it. When we set goals, we are not the best at measuring our own ability to achieve them. In fact, many of us sincerely believe that long shots are feasible.

Take the example of people who are always looking for a new diet. Many dieters fail to stick to a demanding nutrition plan because we underestimate the gustatory sacrifices we’ll have to make. On the surface, it seems deceptively simple — just a matter of altering our food choices. But not many of us realize how it’s actually a complete change of lifestyle. We’re not just giving up on carbs tonight, for example, we’re not going to eat them for an entire month.

Why do people often set goals that they cannot actually accomplish?

<a dir="ltr" href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1990-97846-000">Goal setting </a>is important for <a dir="ltr" href="https://doi.org/10.1093/jcr/ucv008">self-motivation and drive </a>as it gives meaning and purpose to what we do. But humans tend to be <a dir="ltr" href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.115.2.502">overconfident creatures </a>, especially when a goal is linked to our self-esteem. Fundamentally, it is important to our psychological well-being — we want to feel good about ourselves not only in terms of our accomplishments but also in terms of our aspirations. Therefore, when we assess our own capabilities at taking on goals, we tend to be <a dir="ltr" href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1529-1006.2004.00018.x">excessively charitable </a>.

Having said that, some of us are more strategic. When we are uncertain about our likelihood of success — or even when we know that the likelihood is slim — we still choose to set a long-shot goal. The hope is that holding such a goal can help us attain more — even if we do not end up reaching the goal, we’ll get somewhere.

For example, you may set yourself the goal of getting an A in every single course next school year, despite having received very few As in previous years. Whether or not your circumstances allow for straight As, you might choose to pursue “mission impossible,” knowing that, you’ll get higher grades overall if you do. Setting a more modest and achievable goal like getting at least a B in every course will probably not give you those same results.

On the bright side, the persistent pursuit of unattainable goals can lead to higher achievements. People who suspected beforehand that a goal was unattainable may later think, “If I didn’t attempt that goal, I would have achieved a lot less than what I have now. So, I’m much better off for having tried.”

Focusing on smaller accomplishments can bolster positive feelings, motivating us to take on more goals in the same category. As long as we know that unattainable goals are not really about the destination, but the journey, they can be quite healthy.

Οn the dark side, unattainable goals often end in failures and how people react to failure varies greatly. For some, especially those who put a great deal of time and effort into a long-shot goal, failure can be a crushing blow. If not managed well, fixating on the fact that one failed may lead to negative self-fulfilling prophecies or self-critical thinking (“I’m just not cut out for this,” or “I’m worthless.”). Prolonged thoughts like these can lead to a psychological downward spiral.

For instance, the same student who strived for straight As may end up believing that they just are not “smart” enough if they fail, when in fact, the situation is much more nuanced. This person may then abandon future academic pursuits and experience lower self-esteem.

Another potential mental trap following failure is the “<a dir="ltr" href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.57.9.677">false hope syndrome </a>.” In this case, we tend to (mis)attribute the failure to reasons other than the fact that the goal was unattainable to start with. For instance, a failure to get straight As can be attributed to a bad professor, to boring assignments, or to a distracting relationship.

These (mis)attributions can be dangerous — especially when they start to involve other people. Further, the accompanying belief that “things will surely be different next time” can lead someone to try to achieve the unattainable goal yet again, initiating an endless cycle of failure with devastating emotional costs.

While there is merit in setting stretch or long-shot goals, we need to manage how we react to failure. Here are some ways to stop yourself from letting failed goals pull you down.

Celebrate small wins: Don’t negate your progress as there is <a dir="ltr" href="https://hbr.org/2011/05/the-power-of-small-wins">power in small wins </a>. Suppose your goal was to read 36 books in the year and you read only 10; it’s proof enough that you’re capable of moving the needle and making a change for the better. This is also known as the <a dir="ltr" href="http://progressprinciple.com/books/single/the_progress_principle">Progress Principle </a>, which says that progress contributes to positive emotions, strong motivation, and helps spiral your productivity upward. You did achieve something, so celebrate that!

Don’t dwell on the failure: Reflect on your journey to achieving your goal. Think about what worked and what didn’t. What were your roadblocks? Then lay out the specific actions you can take to make improvements. This can help bolster your drive and confidence. Importantly, reflecting can also help you identify activities that were truly enjoyable and facilitated working toward the goal. For example, maybe you liked taking a break from social media to avoid distractions while studying for school, but you didn’t like isolating yourself from social interactions for long periods of time. Knowing what you enjoyed, and what you didn’t, can help you set your goal more strategically next time.

Think about “accidental” or related benefits : While you may not have achieved your goal fully, not all is lost. Attempting difficult goals may yield unexpected benefits. For example, in pursuing your goal to get fitter, the physical exercises, might have may have helped <a dir="ltr" href="https://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/12/exercise">improve your mood </a> and increased your mental acuity, and as a result, improved your performance in unrelated areas.

Ask for an objective analysis : We need to understand why we really failed. One simple approach is to <a dir="ltr" href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/j.1529-1006.2004.00018.x?casa_token=OLFlyveKKAUAAAAA:x0In_927_Ib1o40MpIHChOfOj6Au4rQiCmQWKgdA0SKc1npUaqLd-It4ftOIaAzEVtv5w9EWbiA">ask a friend or family member </a>for a “post-failure autopsy.” For example, a friend may candidly tell you that you failed your academic goal because you often came up with excuses for not studying or that you didn’t read more books because you preferred listening to a podcast. A reality check from a trusted source may help you better understand yourself.

Take a third person perspective:  Finally, <a dir="ltr" href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2007-11239-004">this approach </a>can help you set your expectations from the start. When you lay a goal for yourself, you don’t always have all the necessary information that could predict if you are likely to achieve it or not. For instance, the analysis may reveal that, for the person to succeed at the same academic goal, they needed to study X hours per day or have Y amount of research resources to reference. If you did not have X or Y when you pursued the goal last time, you should ensure that you have at least those before you try again.

This year, you may still choose to go high on your goals, and if you do, use these tips to get better at managing your response failure. Remember: it’s not really about the destination. It’s about getting the most our of your journey to success.

<ul><li><author-avatar data-author-name="Haiyang Yang" data-js-target="author-avatar" data-url="">HY </author-avatar><div dir="ltr"><a dir="ltr" href="https://hbr.org/search?term=haiyang%20yang&amp;search_type=search-all">Haiyang Yang </a>is an Assistant Professor of Marketing at Johns Hopkins Carey Business School, Johns Hopkins University (U.S.). He studies decision-making. His work has appeared in premier journals such as the Journal of Marketing Research , Journal of Consumer Research , Journal of Consumer Psychology, andPsychological Science . </div> </li><li><author-avatar data-author-name="Antonios Stamatogiannakis" data-js-target="author-avatar" data-url="">AS </author-avatar><div dir="ltr"><a dir="ltr" href="https://hbr.org/search?term=antonios%20stamatogiannakis&amp;search_type=search-all">Antonios Stamatogiannakis </a>is an Assistant Professor of Marketing at IE Business School – IE University (Spain). He studies visual marketing, branding, and consumer motivation. His work has appeared in premier journals such as the Journal of Marketing Research , Journal of Consumer Research, andOrganizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes . </div> </li><li><author-avatar data-author-name="Amitava Chattopadhyay" data-js-target="author-avatar" data-url="">AC </author-avatar><div dir="ltr"><a dir="ltr" href="https://hbr.org/search?term=amitava%20chattopadhyay&amp;search_type=search-all">Amitava Chattopadhyay </a> is the GlaxoSmithKline Chaired Professor of Corporate Innovation at INSEAD. He is co-author of <a dir="ltr" href="http://www.amazon.com/The-New-Emerging-Market-Multinationals/dp/0071782893">The New Emerging Market Multinationals: Four Strategies for Disrupting Markets and Building Brands </a> . You can follow him on Twitter <a dir="ltr" href="https://twitter.com/AmitavaChats">@AmitavaChats </a>.   </div> </li><li><author-avatar data-author-name="Dipankar Chakravarti" data-js-target="author-avatar" data-url="">DC </author-avatar><div dir="ltr"><a dir="ltr" href="https://hbr.org/search?term=dipankar%20chakravarti&amp;search_type=search-all">Dipankar Chakravarti </a>is the Sonny Merryman Inc. Professor in Business at the Pamplin College of Business of Virginia Tech. </div> </li> </ul>

Why We Set Unattainable Goals

Believing that long shots are feasible

The psychology of unattainable goals

The persistent pursuit of unattainable goals

Stop letting failed goals pull you down

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