Why self-compassion – not self-esteem – leads to success - Deepstash
Failure And Self-criticism

Failing at something is common and there are different ways we react to it. Some of us are harsh on ourselves, while a few of us talk to ourselves with care and tenderness.

Self-criticism, which is the common reaction towards failure, is a bad choice. It increases our stress and unhappiness levels while also ensuring we block ourselves from further progress, resulting in less likelihood of accomplishing our goals.

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Self-esteem is a popular self-worth mental model, but it comes with an in-built competition of sorts and can become narcissism of the worst kind, crumbling down as soon as the person fails to achieve the goal.

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We can take better care of our mental health and motivation levels by being self-compassionate.

Being kind to ourselves just like an old supportive friend would be in times of disappointment, failure or embarrassment.

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We need to understand the need to love ourselves and see our failings are part of the human condition. Instead of criticising ourselves, we can take a balanced view of the situation.

Apart from less stress, people who cultivate high self-compassion are less likely to have headaches, back pain and respiratory problems.

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Self-compassionate people generally have healthy behaviour, and take care of their basic needs like good, uninterrupted sleep, exercise, and stress avoidance. They are prioritizing their own self and are not overly concerned with the criticism and judgement of others, as they know it is bad for their mental health.

They show a greater motivation to admit and correct their errors instead of jumping to self-critical responses after a mistake is made.

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Self-Compassion Is Trainable

While many have the quality of self-compassion from birth, one can also get trained on loving yourself.

A popular mindfulness meditation called ‘loving-kindness meditation’ guides our mind to focus on the feelings of love, forgiveness and warmth towards ourselves and others.

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