Being nice is an essential quality necessary for success. It is a quality that sustains relationships and makes you someone others want to be around. However, there is a fine line between being nice and being a pushover. When you are too nice you make your way through life by placating, making you vulnerable to being dismissed by others. When you fear that you will be seen as overbearing, domineering or bitchy by having your own opinion and a clear sense of direction you shrink from your value and lose your belief in what you are capable of achieving.
Pleasing occurs when who you consistently soften or change your position because you fear your natural thoughts will not be well received or supported by others. To be successful you must be strong in what you believe and you must be able to communicate your opinions clearly and effectively.
Instead of pleasing to gain approval, simply expect to be treated with respect. Educate yourself to become the best in your field of knowledge so you have a well-developed place of confidence to come from when you communicate.
Your needs for approval eventually drain other people. Other people cannot fill you up and give you the inner worth you are seeking. There is no path to success through coat-tailing other people. The real path to success can only come through your belief in yourself and your willingness to go at it with a true commitment.
Replace what you feel you need from others with learning to ask for what you want. What you want is important to you and if what you want inconveniences someone else then, oh well. The only way to get what you want in life, is to say what you want and go after it.
One the greatest indicators of insecurity is over complimenting people. If you start off or end every conversation with a compliment people will likely see this as manipulative. These compliments are often not sincere as much as they are a way to handle your sense of insecurity by making another person feel good. When you make others feel good you get the false sense that you have secured their approval.
Success only comes through self-confidence which you garner through risk taking not people pleasing.
Defensiveness is seen by others as weakness. People are going to disagree with you in business. If you cannot function without feeling wrecked, upset, or anxious there will be no path to your success. You must develop the resilience to accept feedback or criticism without completely fracturing or becoming pathetic. People aren't going help you up the ladder of success through feeling sorry for you.
Learn to grow from feedback rather than shrink from it.
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