<p>A study was performed on 120 women in order to gauge their emotional distress and how it is relieved through the help of reinterpretation. These women were shown images that were invoking negative emotions such as anger, poverty, and sadness.</p>
<p>The study found that although reinterpreting the images alleviated their distress, it helped even more when the reinterpretation came from their friend. Thus suggesting that<strong> emotional regulation is more effective when other people actively help us with it.</strong></p>

The Practice of Reinterpreting

<p><strong>When we experience negative things it is important we lean on social support because most of the time our friends are better at regulating our emotions rather than ourselves</strong>.</p>
<p>We then feel supported, heard, and less alone. Sometimes we find it hard to believe ourselves therefore the practice of reinterpretation with a friend just seems more plausible than the things we tell ourselves.</p>

Reinterpretation Of An Experience Is  More Soothing With A Friend

<p><em>&quot;It’s not always easy to ask for support. We might judge ourselves if we can’t deal with our problems alone, or feel like we’re annoying our friends. But in the long run, we’re all better off if we support each other.&quot;</em></p>

<p>In tough times, it helps to have friends and loved ones to turn to for support. They can offer a hug, some words of encouragement, and the assurance that what we’re going is, indeed, lousy. </p><img alt="" srcset="https://ggsc.s3.amazonaws.com/images/made/images/uploads/How_Friends_Help_You_Regulate_Your_Emotions_300_200_int_c1-1x.jpg 1x, https://ggsc.s3.amazonaws.com/images/made/images/uploads/How_Friends_Help_You_Regulate_Your_Emotions_600_400_int_c1-2x.jpg 2x" src="https://ggsc.s3.amazonaws.com/images/made/images/uploads/How_Friends_Help_You_Regulate_Your_Emotions_300_200_int_c1-1x.jpg" width="300" height="200"><p dir="ltr">But a new <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/xge0000853" dir="ltr">study</a> suggests that support from friends does more than that. It can help our brains see the problem in a new way—or “look on the bright side”—better than if we tried to deal with it alone. </p><p>Researchers at UCLA recruited 120 young women to observe how they coped with difficult feelings. To evoke those feelings, they were shown a series of negative images, such as sad or angry faces, or people living in poverty. After viewing each image, they were instructed to either respond naturally to it, reinterpret it (think about it differently in order to feel better about it), or listen to a reinterpretation recorded by a friend who came with them to participate in the study. For example, if an image showed a couple fighting, the reinterpretation might be that they look upset, but they’re finally working through an important disagreement. </p><p>After each image, participants rated how bad they felt in that moment. They also went through the same process with neutral images, like people reading or walking. </p><p>Ultimately, seeing negative images did make people feel worse. The practice of reinterpreting, or looking on the bright side, helped alleviate their distress—but it helped even more if people heard a reinterpretation from a friend.&nbsp; </p><p>“Emotion regulation is more effective when other people actively help us with it,” says lead author Razia Sahi, a graduate student researcher at UCLA. &nbsp;</p><p>Why was hearing a friend’s perspective so comforting? One version of the experiment found that it wasn’t just the presence of a friend that made a difference; listening to a friend counting numbers wasn’t more soothing to participants than counting in their own heads. Something about hearing the friend’s way of looking at things helped them recover. </p><p>Perhaps hearing a friend engage with whatever is troubling us makes us feel less alone, the researchers suggest. Or their perspective may just seem more plausible than anything positive we tell ourselves, which might feel like self-delusion—or be hard to come up with at all when we’re in the thick of it.</p><p>“We&nbsp;should lean into social support during negative experiences, since our friends are sometimes a lot better at regulating our emotions than we are at regulating them ourselves,” says Sahi. &nbsp;</p><p>Of course, looking on the bright side won’t work all the time, as Sahi acknowledges. It can sometimes come off as callous—a friend dismissing our feelings and insisting that things aren’t as bad as we think. She suspects that it depends on what’s troubling us, how exactly they respond to it, and whether they’re offering other types of support, too, like a hug or some words of understanding. Sahi is currently conducting research to explore how this process works in everyday life, outside the laboratory, to get a clearer picture. </p><p dir="ltr">This study adds to an interesting line of research suggesting that emotion regulation, which we often think of as a solo, introspective task, is actually very social. For example, our romantic partners sometimes <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_comforting_others_helps_you_with_your_own_struggles" dir="ltr">know better than we do</a> what we need to feel better. And allowing others to help us navigate our emotions actually <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_comforting_others_helps_you_with_your_own_struggles" dir="ltr">serves as practice</a> for them to regulate their own.</p><p>It’s not always easy to ask for support. We might judge ourselves if we can’t deal with our problems alone, or feel like we’re annoying our friends. But in the long run, we’re all better off if we support each other.</p><img src="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/css/images/temp/logo-small.png" alt="GreaterGood Tiny Logo" width="36" height="38"><h5><span>Greater Good wants to know: Do you think this article will influence your opinions or behavior?</span></h5><UL><LI><img src="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/css/images/rate4.png" alt="Rate 4" width="49" height="49"><img src="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/css/images/rate4-clicked.png" alt="Rate 4 Clicked" width="49" height="49"><div title="Rate Very Likely" dir="ltr"><button for="field-very-likely" value="4" type="button" dir="ltr">
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We get by with a little help from our friends, a new study finds.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

health

Health

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

<p>In tough times, it helps to have friends and loved ones to turn to for support. They can offer a hug, some words of encouragement, and the assurance that what we’re going is, indeed, lousy. </p>

<p>But a new <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/xge0000853">study </a>suggests that support from friends does more than that. It can help our brains see the problem in a new way—or “look on the bright side”—better than if we tried to deal with it alone. </p>

<p>Researchers at UCLA recruited 120 young women to observe how they coped with difficult feelings. To evoke those feelings, they were shown a series of negative images, such as sad or angry faces, or people living in poverty. After viewing each image, they were instructed to either respond naturally to it, reinterpret it (think about it differently in order to feel better about it), or listen to a reinterpretation recorded by a friend who came with them to participate in the study. For example, if an image showed a couple fighting, the reinterpretation might be that they look upset, but they’re finally working through an important disagreement. </p>

<p>After each image, participants rated how bad they felt in that moment. They also went through the same process with neutral images, like people reading or walking. </p>

<p>Ultimately, seeing negative images did make people feel worse. The practice of reinterpreting, or looking on the bright side, helped alleviate their distress—but it helped even more if people heard a reinterpretation from a friend.  </p>

<p>“Emotion regulation is more effective when other people actively help us with it,” says lead author Razia Sahi, a graduate student researcher at UCLA.   </p>

<p>Why was hearing a friend’s perspective so comforting? One version of the experiment found that it wasn’t just the presence of a friend that made a difference; listening to a friend counting numbers wasn’t more soothing to participants than counting in their own heads. Something about hearing the friend’s way of looking at things helped them recover. </p>

<p>Perhaps hearing a friend engage with whatever is troubling us makes us feel less alone, the researchers suggest. Or their perspective may just seem more plausible than anything positive we tell ourselves, which might feel like self-delusion—or be hard to come up with at all when we’re in the thick of it. </p>

<p>“We should lean into social support during negative experiences, since our friends are sometimes a lot better at regulating our emotions than we are at regulating them ourselves,” says Sahi.   </p>

<p>Of course, looking on the bright side won’t work all the time, as Sahi acknowledges. It can sometimes come off as callous—a friend dismissing our feelings and insisting that things aren’t as bad as we think. She suspects that it depends on what’s troubling us, how exactly they respond to it, and whether they’re offering other types of support, too, like a hug or some words of understanding. Sahi is currently conducting research to explore how this process works in everyday life, outside the laboratory, to get a clearer picture. </p>

<p>This study adds to an interesting line of research suggesting that emotion regulation, which we often think of as a solo, introspective task, is actually very social. For example, our romantic partners sometimes <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_comforting_others_helps_you_with_your_own_struggles">know better than we do </a>what we need to feel better. And allowing others to help us navigate our emotions actually <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_comforting_others_helps_you_with_your_own_struggles">serves as practice </a>for them to regulate their own. </p>

<p>It’s not always easy to ask for support. We might judge ourselves if we can’t deal with our problems alone, or feel like we’re annoying our friends. But in the long run, we’re all better off if we support each other. </p>

Greater Good wants to know: Do you think this article will influence your opinions or behavior?

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How Friends Help You Regulate Your Emotions

The Practice of Reinterpreting

Reinterpretation Of An Experience Is More Soothing With A Friend

KIRA NEWMAN

CURATED BY

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