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How to find common ground with others
Since you had to grow up too early too soon, you might be trained to become hyper-independent. You are incredibly self-reliant that it may feel impossible to be vulnerable or seek help from others.
Being highly self-reliant was your only option in a household with only emotionally vulnerable adults, but it is a strategy that no longer works for you. Challenging yourself to connect with others is the most potent ways to heal.
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Parentification constitutes a form of "role reversal" in the family when a child is made to take on parental responsibilities.
They may have to, aside from taking care of themselves, be their parents’ confidantes, their siblings’ caretaker, the family mediator, etc. It is a form of boundary violation because the innocent childhood that one is entitled to is robbed away.
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Parentification can occur in two ways:
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Parentified children are not given the time, care, love, emotional support, or security needed to develop and thrive. They are deprived of the opportunity to learn through observation and guardianship.
If they were to be vulnerable, they are either ignored or sometimes punished. Eventually, they internalize the message that having needs and desires is not acceptable. They become ashamed of their vulnerabilities, and eventually, emotional numbness and self-denial become their second nature.
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There are many to recovery for a young adult or adult who has been parentified as a child:
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