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6 Reasons We Choose Badly in Love

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https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/6-reasons-we-choose-badly-in-love/

theschooloflife.com

6 Reasons We Choose Badly in Love
The fastest, easiest and most inadvertent technique for messing up one's life remains that of getting into a serious relationship with the wrong person: with very little effort, and without any innate taste for catastrophe, one can end up - by middle age or earlier - contemplating wholesale financia

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We can’t sift

What differentiates the emotionally damaged from the more robustly healthy is their tendency for being unable to spot the problems in due time and remove themselves with the requisite ruthlessness ...

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We aren’t a friend to ourselves

When someone lets us down, breaks promises, our first, second and hundredth impulse is never simply to up sticks and leave. 

Our tendency is to wonder what we might have done to provoke ...

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We can’t disappoint anyone

Looking after ourselves requires a rare skill: a capacity to disappoint another person in the name of our own protection. 

To remain sane, we may have to decline a friend’s suggestion – ...

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We hope too much

Children who grow up in the company of difficult adults settle on doing one thing extremely well: hoping against hope that these adults will magically change and learn to be kind. 

T...

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We're scared of being alone

Our willingness to quit a bad relationship is to some extent a measure of our confidence that being on our own will be tolerable and that we'll be able to manage it. 

How much better to ...

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We find kindness ‘boring’

We find nice people instinctively boring and unsexy. This usually has its roots in a troubled past, which makes us unusually unforgiving towards genuine kindness.

If we knew ourselve...

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Responding To Urgency

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Dealing Constructively With Control

Stay-in-love partners know that the need to feel in control at times is natural and that it offers an opportunity for learning and helping each other. Partners have confidence in their own autonomy to not react defensively or take it personally. 

Parenting Each Other

As relationships mature, many begin to feel less willing to give that kind of unconditional nurturing, and might not be as available. 

Stay-in-love couples understand the importance of not letting those special “sweet spots” die. They know that their partner sometimes needs to feel that guaranteed comfort and safety, and are more than willing to act as the good parent when asked. 

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What confidence is

Confidence is often seen as an elusive trait that others have but you don’t.

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Change your environment

Changing your environment changes the stimuli that are going into your brain—this affects your moment-by-moment perception of the world.

Think of places you frequent where you feel your most creative, happiest, relaxed. Aim to go to these places when you feel low in confidence.

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