At some time in our lives, we all do or say something that we later regret.
If you find yourself dwelling on these moments because you think you embarrassed yourself socially, don't let that undermine your confidence. There are steps to take to help you let it go.

Embarrassing yourself

List the things you did or didn't do that concerns you. Then ask yourself, "Is this an objective fact?" It mustn't just feel true.
<ul>
<li>An example of an objective fact: You spilt a drink on someone.</li>
<li>An example of feeling it is true: You made a fool of yourself.</li>
</ul>

Embarrassing situations: Make a list of what you're worried about

If a moment that makes you feel embarrassed is an objective fact, ask yourself if it is a big deal.
<ul>
<li>If you spilt your drink on someone, was real harm done? Maybe the person laughed it off and was nice to you the rest of the time. *Forgive yourself and let it go.</li>
</ul>

Embarrassing situations: Assess the damage

If you made a fool out of yourself and real harm was done, plan to follow up with the person involved.
Be prepared to make amends. For example, "I feel bad about spilling my drink on your dress, and I'd love to have it dry cleaned for you." You'll come across as having good interpersonal skills, and being proactive will also improve your self-esteem.

Getting over embarrassing situations: Make repairs

<h3>Key points</h3><UL><LI>Start by making a list of what you’re worried about—and only include objective facts.</LI><LI>Forgive yourself for being human and tell yourself, “I’m allowed not to be perfect.”</LI><LI>Make a plan to make amends if needed.</LI></UL><img alt="Verbaska_Studio/Canva Pro" height="240" src="https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-inline-half-caption/public/field_blog_entry_images/2021-05/awkward_verbaska_studio-getty.jpg?itok=9f1NafWG" title="Verbaska_Studio/Canva Pro" width="360"><div>Source: Verbaska_Studio/Canva Pro</div>Whether or not we suffer from <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/shyness" title="Psychology Today looks at social anxiety" hreflang="en" dir="ltr">social anxiety</a>, it’s happened to all of us at one time or another: We go on a date or to a party, or attend a meeting at work. We say or do something we later regret, and we suffer the next day (or week).
If you find yourself tied up in knots because you think you embarrassed yourself socially, don’t let <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/embarrassment" title="Psychology Today looks at shame" hreflang="en" dir="ltr">shame</a> undermine your <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/confidence" title="Psychology Today looks at confidence" hreflang="en" dir="ltr">confidence</a>.
<div dir="ltr">
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 </div>Instead, walk yourself through the following three steps. You’ll either let it go or fix it. Either way, you’ll be able to get on the other side of it as quickly as possible.
<h3>Step 1: List your “crimes”
</h3>Make a list of things you did, or didn’t do, that you’re worried about. Make sure they’re about your behavior, not others’ reactions.
For each item on the list, ask yourself, “Is this an objective fact?” An objective fact is empirically true, not just something that feels true to you.
Example of an objective fact: You spilled a drink on someone.
Example of something that only feels true: You made a fool of yourself.
If it’s not an objective fact, chances are other people would be surprised to know that you’re worried about it. Even if it is, they probably didn’t notice, or if they did, quickly forgot about it.
Talk back to the worry; recognize it as a symptom of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/anxiety" title="Psychology Today looks at anxiety" hreflang="en" dir="ltr">anxiety</a> and be curious, not judgmental, about it. If your “<a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/law-and-crime" title="Psychology Today looks at crime" hreflang="en" dir="ltr">crime</a>” is not an objective fact, it’s OK to take yourself off the hook. 
If your feelings won’t leave you alone about it, try some 
Constructive Wallowing
 to get past it quickly. (See my book of that title for detailed instructions.)
If something on your list 
is
 an objective fact, move to Step 2.
<h3>Step 2: Assess the damage
</h3>Remember, all that should be left on your list are objective facts. For each one, ask yourself, “Is this a big deal?” 
It may be a fact that you spilled your drink on someone, but how big a deal was it really?
 

Maybe the person hardly noticed, laughed it off, and was nice to you the rest of the time. Apparently, no harm was done.
<div dir="ltr">
 article continues after advertisement
 </div><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/forgiveness" title="Psychology Today looks at Forgive" hreflang="en" dir="ltr">Forgive</a> yourself for being human and let it go. Everyone does silly stuff sometimes. Get used to telling yourself, "I'm allowed not to be perfect."
But if you spilled your drink on someone who’s hiring for a position you want, then yes, you may have damaged your chances of getting that job. (Especially if the job involves handling liquids.)
For each item that 
is
 a big deal, go to Step 3.
<h3>Step 3: Make repairs
</h3>Plan to follow up with the person or people involved. Check in with them if necessary, to make sure there really is a problem.
Be prepared to make amends in whatever way makes sense.
For example, you might tell the person you spilled your drink on, “I feel bad about spilling my drink on your dress, and I’d love to have it dry cleaned for you.”
By calmly taking appropriate action, you’ll come across as more socially adept, not less. Being proactive will also improve your <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/self-esteem" title="Psychology Today looks at self-esteem" hreflang="en" dir="ltr">self-esteem</a> as your personal effectiveness increases.
Everyone makes mistakes. But we can learn to assess damage accurately and take appropriate action when needed—increasing our social confidence in the process.
<UL><LI><img src="https://www.psychologytoday.com/theme-assets/icons/icon-share-round-facebook-md.svg" alt="Share on Facebook" width="36" height="36"></LI></UL>

Use these three steps to stop obsessing the next day.

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<ul><li>Start by making a list of what you’re worried about—and only include objective facts. </li><li>Forgive yourself for being human and tell yourself, “I’m allowed not to be perfect.” </li><li>Make a plan to make amends if needed. </li> </ul>

Whether or not we suffer from <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/shyness">social anxiety </a>, it’s happened to all of us at one time or another: We go on a date or to a party, or attend a meeting at work. We say or do something we later regret, and we suffer the next day (or week).

If you find yourself tied up in knots because you think you embarrassed yourself socially, don’t let <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/embarrassment">shame </a>undermine your <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/confidence">confidence </a>.

Instead, walk yourself through the following three steps. You’ll either let it go or fix it. Either way, you’ll be able to get on the other side of it as quickly as possible.

Make a list of things you did, or didn’t do, that you’re worried about. Make sure they’re about your behavior, not others’ reactions.

For each item on the list, ask yourself, “Is this an objective fact?” An objective fact is empirically true, not just something that feels true to you.

Example of an objective fact: You spilled a drink on someone.

Example of something that only feels true: You made a fool of yourself.

If it’s not an objective fact, chances are other people would be surprised to know that you’re worried about it. Even if it is, they probably didn’t notice, or if they did, quickly forgot about it.

Talk back to the worry; recognize it as a symptom of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/anxiety">anxiety </a>and be curious, not judgmental, about it. If your “<a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/law-and-crime">crime </a>” is not an objective fact, it’s OK to take yourself off the hook.

If your feelings won’t leave you alone about it, try some Constructive Wallowing to get past it quickly. (See my book of that title for detailed instructions.)

If something on your list is an objective fact, move to Step 2.

Remember, all that should be left on your list are objective facts. For each one, ask yourself, “Is this a big deal?”

It may be a fact that you spilled your drink on someone, but how big a deal was it really? Maybe the person hardly noticed, laughed it off, and was nice to you the rest of the time. Apparently, no harm was done.

<a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/forgiveness">Forgive </a>yourself for being human and let it go. Everyone does silly stuff sometimes. Get used to telling yourself, "I'm allowed not to be perfect."

But if you spilled your drink on someone who’s hiring for a position you want, then yes, you may have damaged your chances of getting that job. (Especially if the job involves handling liquids.)

For each item that is a big deal, go to Step 3.

Plan to follow up with the person or people involved. Check in with them if necessary, to make sure there really is a problem.

Be prepared to make amends in whatever way makes sense.

For example, you might tell the person you spilled your drink on, “I feel bad about spilling my drink on your dress, and I’d love to have it dry cleaned for you.”

By calmly taking appropriate action, you’ll come across as more socially adept, not less. Being proactive will also improve your <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/self-esteem">self-esteem </a>as your personal effectiveness increases.

Everyone makes mistakes. But we can learn to assess damage accurately and take appropriate action when needed—increasing our social confidence in the process.

How to Get Over Social Embarrassment

Embarrassing yourself

Embarrassing situations: Make a list of what you're worried about

Embarrassing situations: Assess the damage

Getting over embarrassing situations: Make repairs

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