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7 Mindful Ways to Handle Complicated People at Work

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https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/7-mindful-ways-to-handle-complicated-people-at-work/

pickthebrain.com

7 Mindful Ways to Handle Complicated People at Work
Complicated work situations are not a rare occurrence. Many of us have had a difficult co-worker to deal with at some point in our careers. From people who don't submit their work in time or don't show up for meetings, to people who just can't work in a team or who are overly competitive.

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Understand the situation

Complaining about a difficult work situation will not make it go away. Try to understand the situation, and find a way to understand and accept your colleagues.

People’s characters ...

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Learn how to accept criticism

Sometimes it can help us identify weaknesses we didn’t know we had.

Analyze it and take what is helpful from it. If you find it is meaningless bitterness, disregard it immediately.

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Winston Churchill

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

Winston Churchill

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Avoid negative colleagues

Minimize conversations with them. Only speak when it is necessary for work, or when you have something constructive to share.

A negative person will always find a reason to express ne...

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Albert Einstein

"Stay away from negative people. They have a problem, for every solution.”

Albert Einstein

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Keep your cool in heated situations

Don’t let anger overcome you. Nothing constructive results from anger. Anger only obstructs judgement and mental clarity.

If you train yourself to remain calm in stressful situations, ...

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Never accept abuse from anyone

Tolerating hurtful treatment weakens your self-esteem and self-confidence. 

Letting others insult you and not doing anything about it sends your subconscious mind a message that y...

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Speak to a higher authority

... if all else fails.

Sometimes people get very competitive and there is no way to resolve situations without the intervention of a higher authority.

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Mindfulness at work

Mindfulness at work

Means being consciously present in what you’re doing, while you’re doing it, as well as managing your mental and emotional state. 

If you’re writing a report, mindfulness requires...

1 min/session

That’s the minimum required for a mini-mediation.

Just focus on your sense. You don’t need to close your eyes. You don’t even need to be sitting down.

Use Mindful Reminders

You can use interruptions as hooks to make you more mindful.

Every time your phone rings, take a mindful breath. Every time you hear the ping of a text message, pause to be mindful of your surroundings rather than immediately reacting by checking the message. 

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Anger and Aggression

  • Anger: An emotion felt when we believe we have been wronged.
  • Aggression: is an act of expression of the anger, by our words our actions. Aggression can be insults, sarcas...

Validation and Boundaries

  • We can try and validate the anger felt by an individual by making them know that their anger is maybe justified while putting firm but respectful boundaries on their aggression.
  • We then need to be clear about what type of aggression we are willing to tolerate, setting boundaries on the unacceptable.
  • We may have to put our foot down and be ready to leave the conversation or escalate the issue, without falling into the trap of guilt and emotion.
  • If possible, we need to restart the conversation when things have cooled down, and diffuse the issue in a calm way.

Avoiding Speculative Self-Talk

Unchecked self-talk can easily turn into self-delusion. The stories we create almost always make you look like the good guy and cannot be termed as objective.

  • The way to get out of this speculative self-delusion is to avoid any speculation about other people's anger, at least initially.
  • Make sure to note down the facts of the situation. This can make the story less according to your gut instinct, and more towards the objective reality.

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Quick Tips For Anger Management

Eat well: Make sure you eat healthy vegetarian food.

Rest: Ensure at least 6-8 hours a day.

Meditate daily: can be done at any time, in a quiet place and doing so i...

7 Techniques To Manage Anger

  1. Sudarshan Kriya: a breathing technique that releases stresses accumulated as impressions.
  2. Sahaj Samadhi Meditation: through mantras, it helps the meditator to clear the layers of consciousness from the impressions stored in it, bringing better perception and calmness.
  3. Be aware of the emotion rising: it helps you to control it but regular meditation is required to sustain it.
  4. Accept anger: just accepting yourself for getting angry calms you down.
  5. Show anger, don’t get angry: showing and being angry are different. The former is an appearance and can be done without affecting your inner calm.
  6. Smile more often: you cannot get angry when you’re busy smiling.
  7. Recognizing anger's transiency: you get angry at something in the present. With proper training, you will be angry less frequently or for less time and prevent anger from becoming hatred.

Don’t try to fix the difficult person

Accept them exactly as they are. 

Accept that they are unable to change, at least at this point in time. Unless you see real change — proof that this person is making an effort&nb...

Be present and direct

Try to avoid getting into a fight-or-flight response, which inevitably leads to becoming defensive

  • Be direct and assertive when you express yourself. 
  • Stay focused on how you respond. 
  • Know when the discussion or argument has accelerated to the point of no return. If it gets to this point, stop the interaction, and leave the conversation.

Encourage difficult people to express themselves

Let them fully state their point of view about the issue/conflict/problem without interruption. What do they feel people misunderstand about them? What do they want or expect from others? 

The idea is to remain as neutral as possible. Just listening may be enough to allow someone to feel like they have the opportunity to say what’s on their mind. 

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Workplace Anxiety

It happens when you feel restless and stuck, and you have a sense of vague fear which leads to unproductiveness. It is an existential feeling that is hard to articulate. A constant sens...

Anxiety Vs Negative Emotion

Negative emotions (lack of confidence, toxic energy, fear) can also cause anxiety. The difference between the two is the feeling of being unsafe that comes with anxiety.

When you are anxious, the ability to think clearly is lost, and so is the perspective. Breathing exercises and making space in your mind by slowing down is the first step towards remaining calm in this general state of anxiety.

Objectify The Problem

Start journaling, asking specific questions to bring the main issue in focus, to get organized and gain clarity. Ask yourself these four questions:

  1. What feels wrong?
  2. How can the problem be defined?
  3. What are the fears with regards to making changes?
  4. What actions can be taken that would improve the situation?

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Deduction and Mindfulness Go Together

Sherlock Holmes observed facts without being judgmental. He would construct a hypothesis about what he believed happened. He would then search for more evidence to logically validate his ini...

All Stories Are Possible — Until They Are Not

Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot encourages everybody to tell their story.  Stories help Poirot comprehend what kind of person the victim was. And to uncover the murderer’ motive.

Storytelling is powerful to uncover insights, not just the truth. Design Thinking — a process for creative problem solving — leverages the power of stories to detect human desires and needs.

Be Relentless

Sarah Linden is the least self-aware television detective.

Her dedication to her work and stubbornness are unbeatable. She never gives up. Even though she fails in many aspects of her life — like being a mother. But, she keeps showing up and trying to do better. She tries again, fails again, and fails better.

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Identifying Difficult People

  • The Perfectionist. If you are looking for quick results, perfectionists can be a source of frustration.
  • Control freaks. When you want to do th...

Identifying the Issue

Turn the situation inward and analyze your triggers and reactions to these situations. 

  • How do you react to a difficult person in your life?
  • How does your difficult person react to your reactions?
  • If the other person is the problem, are you growing unhealthy actions and reactions in response to him or her?
  • Are you the difficult person driving others to reactive behavior?
  • How do others react to your actions and responses?

Mitigating These Situations

Separate the facts from your assumptions. 

Separate yourself and your reactions from the negative emotions you may be feeling in the moment. 

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Know your facts

How many times have you made a claim about some piece of trivia only to realize, as soon as you’ve made that claim, that you’re completely wrong?

Stop and think before you make such errors, and y...

Switch perspectives

Stepping into the mindset of those you argue with allows you to figure out what’s influencing them. 

Showing empathy will lower the temperature of the debate and allow both of you to come to a resolution.

Try to appear open-minded

If you appear to be giving the other side’s position a thoughtful review, then the solution you propose will seem to be far more sensible. Furthermore, your opponent may come to your side without you having to do anything other than listening.

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The Way Therapy Works

There is growing research on how therapy actually works. Psychological communication, dialogue, and intervention can work even better than pills.
This seems eve...

Therapy Techniques

  • Some therapists are just there to listen and provide a backdrop.
  • Even the silence that they exhibit seems to kindle the patients into divulging more of their most uncomfortable truths.
  • Others keep the sequence of assignments and tests lined up, never pausing.
  • Therapists play varied roles to get some valuable information out of the patient and make him better.

Therapy That Works

No particular form of therapy is proven to be better or more effective than others.

Different people prefer or respond to different forms of therapy.

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2 kinds of people

  • Those who believe they can make things happen. They are convinced that the outcome of their lives and careers is more or less in their own hands
  • Those who believe things...

When hard times strike

Those that feel they are in control over their lives also feel stress and anxiety, but they use this anxiety differently: their anxiety fuels passion instead of pity, drive in lieu of despair, and tenacity over trepidation.

Expect and prepare for change

Set aside some time regularly to create a list of important changes that you think could possibly happen. The purpose of this task is to open your mind to change and sharpen your ability to spot and respond to changes. 

Even if the events on your lists never happen, the practice of anticipating and preparing for change will give you a greater sense of command over your future.

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