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7 Things To Do If You're Having A Hard Time Being Vulnerable In A Relationship

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https://www.bustle.com/p/what-to-do-if-youre-having-a-hard-time-being-vulnerable-in-a-relationship-8830401

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7 Things To Do If You're Having A Hard Time Being Vulnerable In A Relationship
At the beginning of a new relationship, you and your partner will have so much to learn about each other. Although it's easy to open up about the fun, lighthearted stuff - like your go-to guilty pleasure movie or your most embarrassing childhood...

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Getting To The Root Of Your Reluctance

If you find it difficult to share your past experiences, ask yourself why you are reluctant to open up. Getting to the root of the reluctance is key.

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Work Out Your Feelings First

Before you talk to your partner about something difficult, find the right words to express it first. Until you can verbalize it, it remains unknown to you and to your partner.

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Open Up In Small Steps

When you decide to open up, start by taking small steps to test the waters first.

The more you practice and see that you can do it, the easier it will get for you to open up.

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Practice Being Vulnerable

Practicing vulnerability includes knowing your vulnerability and expressing your real thoughts instead of what you think your thoughts and wants should be.

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Be Honest With Your Partner

Consider communicating to your partner that you are having a hard time opening up and may need extra time.

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Ask For What You Need

It's good to be honest about what you need or want from your partner after you open up.

Let them know that you do not need to be fixed. The purpose is to connect.

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Consider The Timing

... before you talk about something important.

Invite your partner to sit down with you, without distractions, and let them know that you want to talk to them. Let them know how you feel an...

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Keep Working On Yourself

The key to making your relationship more interdependent is to take stock of your life. Find purpose and meaning outside of your relationship. 

Not only will it make you happier and better as a person, but it may also improve intimacy and passion in your relationship.

Have Regular "Friend Dates"

Counting on your partner to be your person for everything can put a ton of pressure on them. 

It’s healthy to have regular time with your friends without your partner. A little time apart also creates mystique and plays into that tried but true adage that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

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Two relationship complaints

The two worst things in a relationship are:

  • The thought of a partner leaving.  
  • The frustration of a partner not sharing their feelings.

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Offering vs obligated

Offering to share with your partner is intimate.  Being bullied into sharing is undercutting the very intimacy we think we're building.

Other people's emotions are theirs, not ours. Hearing them share their feelings is a privilege, not a right.

Correcting wrong views

  • “Sharing is caring!”. But care is about love and love is about respecting your partner's personal space.
  • “Yeah but if I don’t know what’s wrong, then how can I fix it?” Our partners are not our personal projects. Our relationship isn't a game of codependency.
  • “But I just want them to share!” Yet, we are not entitled to it.
  • "But why won’t they tell me?! Why is that so hard?” Because they don't want to. They may not be ready, or maybe nothing is wrong. You can't push it.

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Feeling Safe

A relationship based on compatibility can make you feel safe and content. Relying on that feeling can become a problem if you become too dependant on your partner.

Not needing to feel vulnerable

When you're in love, you should be comfortable to reveal your good and not-so-great emotions.

Your Relationship Is "Nice"

If you can only describe your relationship as nice, but it lacks the spark of attraction, it may be difficult to be happy in the long-term. 

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