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7 Ways To Improve Communication With Your Partner

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https://www.huffpost.com/entry/7-ways-to-improve-communication-with-your-partner_b_59b7e8fde4b0678066213e76

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7 Ways To Improve Communication With Your Partner
Unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably heard how important it is to establish "good" communication with your spouse. However, if you didn't grow up watching your parents speak to each other openly, honestly and with respect, you may not know precisely how to do that, as well as when you should speak up vs.

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Don’t accuse

Be conscious not to point blame at your partner by phrasing sentences that start with words such as “You make me... “ or “You didn’t…

Instead, begin by saying, “I feel hurt ...

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Listen

Once you voice what’s bothering you, be sure to hear how your partner responds. Give him or her a chance to speak and listen to what he or she says. 

It may be that you’re misinterp...

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Be consistent

Healthy communication happens during the smallest of moments, not only at meals and when you’re on vacation. Speak nicely to your partner and try your best not to let stress or other distraction...

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Touch often

Communication is not only verbal. Hold hands. Kiss him or her hello and goodbye. Let your partner know without words just how much he or she means to you. 

Touching coupled with the righ...

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Ask questions

Not everyone is forthcoming with information, especially if something is bothering them. 

Make it a habit of asking your partner how he or she is doing and how his or her day was, even i...

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Remain open

Problems tend to build as opposed to disappearing when we keep issues that are bothering us bottled up inside. 

If you’re having a problem, raise it with your partner, bearing in mi...

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Compliment your partner

Little acknowledgments here and there communicate to your partner that you notice him or her and are happy he or she is a part of your life. If your husband cooked you a special dinner, acknow...

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Reverse Psychology

  1. The more we push someone to do something, the more they resist and rebel.
  2. The more urgently we need information from someone, the harder it could get for us to get it out of a person.
  3. Building rapport, and providing autonomy to the person help thaw out the relationship and get things moving.

Forming A Connection

  • With the help of the right communication, attitude and gestures, a rapport can be formed with the other person (like a teenager or a spouse).
  • The power balance needs to be restored/shared, so the person who is ‘closed’ finds a reason to open up.
  • Threatening, blackmailing and trickery rarely work in such situations, with a humble, submissive and empathetic person having a much better chance at being effective.

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Poor communication

Poor communication

The lack of communication is one of the main reasons for break-ups, divorces and for seeking couple therapy, according to studies.
Poor communication is also related to conflict-based con...

Fear and resentment

When having important discussions with our partners, we face the fear that they are not really hearing us.
This could lead us to develop a form of resentment because we may not feel validated by them. We might also misinterpret their body language and words and feel hurt and disrespected by them.

The antidote to fear

Fear is the enemy of healthy communication. The antidote would thus be developing safety.
When we feel safe, we can talk about anything in healthy ways. You should also make sure you help your partner feel safe when talking to you.

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Pointless Criticism

In the context of poor communication, criticizing is when you knock someone down for the wrong reasons: to hurt someone, to vent your frustrations or to boost your ego.

It’s easy enoug...

Blaming

When you blame someone, you take any responsibility off of yourself and put it on them. 

It’s understandable that you want to express your dissatisfaction with something. But sometimes you need to express it in order to find a solution, not to point singers.

Ineffective Complaining

Complaining is exhausting because it puts pressure on the other person. 

Complaining often results in the other person feeling as if they should somehow “fix” the problem or else just get away from the complaining. 

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