How to Overcome Jealousy in Life | mr-stingy - Deepstash
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#1 Acknowledge Jealousy

#1 Acknowledge Jealousy

ā€œIt is not greed that drives the world, but envy.ā€

The first step to deal with an uncomfortable feeling is acceptance.

  • If you ever catch yourself feeling those burning envious feelings, say ā€œIā€™m , and I get jealous.ā€
  • But more crucially, also say: ā€œBut itā€™s okay to feel jealous. Itā€™s only human. And hereā€™s what Iā€™m going to do about it.ā€

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#2 Talk to Yourself

#2 Talk to Yourself

Whenever you feel like punching someone, itā€™s useful to take a deep breath, pause, and ask yourself the following questions:

  • What emotions am I feeling now? Is it anger? Is it hurt? Is it jealousy?
  • What were the triggers that caused this emotion?
  • Whatā€™s the real reason I feel so bad?

Detach yourself from the situation, and imagine youā€™re a neutral third party observing from the outside.Ā Like an invisible angel, watching yourself and taking notes ā€” trying to figure out why you do certain things

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#3 Practice the ā€œ100% Swapā€ Thought Experiment

#3 Practice the ā€œ100% Swapā€ Thought Experiment

Ask yourself:

ā€œIf I could swap my life completely for his/hers, including not just the good stuff, but all the bad things ā€” would I?ā€

You donā€™t want someone elseā€™s life. You just like fantasizing about it.

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395 reads

#4 Count Your Blessings

#4 Count Your Blessings

Jealousy comes from feelings of inadequacy. Remember, if we feel like weā€™re not enough ā€” thatā€™s when we start looking outside at other people.

Gratitude is such a powerful tool that lots of researchers have studied it and proven one thing: it just makes people happier.

So hereā€™s a powerful exercise to do: every time you feel jealous, take out your phone and quickly note down three things youā€™re thankful for. Shift your focus away from the external, but look at whatā€™s already good in your life.

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Socrates

ā€œThe secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.ā€

SOCRATES

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#5 Reach out to the Object of Your Jealousy

#5 Reach out to the Object of Your Jealousy

Reach out to him/her and humbly ask toĀ learnĀ from them. And then, maybe we become friends. And eventually, the jealousy falls away to become something better ā€” like respect.

In this world of mistrust, itā€™s not isolation that will save us ā€” itā€™s dialogue and empathy.

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James Altucher

ā€œWhen you envy someone, you put a wall up between yourself and the things about that person you envy.

If they have a good job, thereā€™s now a new wall between you and getting a good job. Why? Because you are programming yourself to dislike people who have good jobs.ā€ļ»æ.ā€

JAMES ALTUCHER

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#6 Talk It out ā€” Get Support

#6 Talk It out ā€” Get Support

Weā€™re looking for here is someone who will listen and empathize with you. And then lend you some non-judgmental emotional support (plus a hug maybe?).

He/she doesnā€™t even need to give you advice on how to solve your problems. If itā€™s jealousy ā€” technically, thereā€™s no external problem to solve anyway.

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200 reads

#7 Overcome Insecurity ā€” Build Your Self-Esteem

#7 Overcome Insecurity ā€” Build Your Self-Esteem

  1. Surround yourself with positive people, who will help build you up.Ā 
  2. Become good at things that are important to you.
  3. Decide on your core values. And then make progress in that.

Loving yourself is the ultimate antidote for jealousy. Because then you realize that everything external you were looking for can actually be found within you.

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