Who we like is a deeply subjective thing

The urge to be liked is a powerful force in this world: It can force you to rethink behavior, appearances, even relationships.

But despite even the very best efforts, no one has a say in how much other people like them.

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What 'Likeability' Really Means In The Workplace : Life Kit

npr.org

Likeability is a moving target — an invisible scorecard that we internalize but that those around us fill out for us.

The stakes of that scorecard are even higher in the workplace. And it's particularly pronounced for women because across cultures we socialize women and girls to think of themselves in relation to others.

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Likeability can be used as a catchall for other biases as well.

When someone says, "I don't like you," very often what they are saying is, "You did not meet my expectation of how a person like you is supposed to show up in the world."

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