Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember - Deepstash

13

STASHED IN:

47

Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

rd.com

STASHED IN:

0 Comments

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

22

STASHED IN:

45

A bear walks into a bar

... and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.

“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. 

The bear shrugged. “I’m ...

9

STASHED IN:

48

9

STASHED IN:

45

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

18

STASHED IN:

47

How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

7

STASHED IN:

45

A man tells his doctor...

... “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”

The doctor replies,Sorry, I don’t follow you …”

8

STASHED IN:

44

Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?

Because you should never drink and derive.

10

STASHED IN:

44

What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

14

STASHED IN:

46

8

STASHED IN:

44

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

8

STASHED IN:

44

8

STASHED IN:

45

9

STASHED IN:

46

7

STASHED IN:

44

2

STASHED IN:

43

7

STASHED IN:

44

11

STASHED IN:

43

Why did the hipster burn his mouth?

He drank the coffee before it was cool.

4

STASHED IN:

43

Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles

He kept leaving little messages around the house.

3

STASHED IN:

44

3

STASHED IN:

43

4

STASHED IN:

42

Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?

Because he lost his filling.

6

STASHED IN:

44

What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog, because buildings can’t jump.

4

STASHED IN:

46

Why aren’t koalas actual bears?

They don’t meet the koalafications.

7

STASHED IN:

44

Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?

In case she needed to draw blood.

5

STASHED IN:

44

7

STASHED IN:

44

Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor?

It needed help figuring out its problems.

6

STASHED IN:

44

6

STASHED IN:

46

Why doesn’t the sun go to college?

Because it has a million degrees!

10

STASHED IN:

45

Why are ghosts such bad liars?

Because they are easy to see through.

6

STASHED IN:

44

Deepstash helps you become inspired, wiser and productive, through bite-sized ideas from the best articles, books and videos out there.

GET THE APP:

MORE LIKE THIS

Whether it’s a play on words, a funny observation about everyday things or old witty sayings, comedy has a way of making us realize we’re all going through the same stuff in this crazy life.

22 IDEAS