The words "Calm down!" makes people feel criticised and suggests their reasons are invalid for being upset.

Instead of saying, "Calm down," try saying, "It's going to be alright. Talk to me. What's the matter?" It shows that you want to understand the person's circumstances better and are open to talking things through.

This phrase is a lie, as most people say it repeatedly.

Instead, try saying in a calm voice, “Listen, it’s essential that you get this point, so pay close attention to what I’m about to tell you.” Another technique is to list what you want the person to do and encourage them to consider it.

This phrase sounds sarcastic and does not help the conversation. It may also seem like you want to duck responsibility.

Instead, think of ways to help the person solve the problem or point the person toward someone who can help them if you are unable to help. If neither of the options is possible, offer an apology. For example, “I’m sorry, I do not know what to recommend, but I wish I did.”

The problem with this phrase is that the problem bounces right back onto the person who requires help. It also signals a "you-versus-me" battle rather than an "us" discussion.

Choose to soften your language by asking, "What's the matter?" or "How can I help?"

The question implies that someone is acting out of line and makes people defensive.

First choose words of reassurance, then paraphrase what the perceived problem is. “Let me see if I understand your position…”