• Take a mental step back and just watch what's happening in the current situation.
• Record these observations in your mind without assigning value to them. 
• Hold back from judgment or evaluation. 
• Say what you see, but not what you think of it. Examples: “What I’m hearing you ask me is…” or “I see that you want this…”

• Check in with your body and identify adjectives that describe the sensations you’re feeling.
• Choose words that are specific to your experience, not words that insinuate what another is doing. Examples “When this happens, it makes me feel like…”
• Describing your feelings as being overlooked, devalued, unheard or pressured all suggest that someone else is doing something to you and won’t foster mutual understanding.

List the needs that are connected to the feelings you’ve identified.

What is lacking that would make you feel better? Appreciation? Balance? Support? Acceptance? Security? Belonging? Articulate what it is you need to move forward. 

Example: “Because I value my happiness, I need…”

Needs are the missing pieces. Requests are what you use to get them.

Usually, you are looking for something from another person that will enrich your life, your work or your experience. Accordingly, you want to take their feelings and needs into account. The best way to do this is to build flexibility and freedom into your ask. Examples: “I am wondering if…” “Would you be willing to?”

....strip away the narrative people automatically build in their heads, those looming cloud of  suppositions you carry around about a person or situation, disabling you from working effectively.

Rather than pointing fingers or assigning blame, the best tactic is to become self aware first and share how you feel only once you’ve thought it through.

When conflict arises in the workplace, people have two tendencies: 

1. To hide from discomfort and hope the issue dissipates; 
2. To address the conflict head-on, often without filtering the words they use. 

Neither response is correct.

Standing for Acknowledge, Express, Identify, Outcome, and Understanding, the A-E-I-O-U method can be used to resolve a variety of standoffs: employee-to-boss, peer-to-peer, co-founder to co-founder. 

It helps clients work through confrontations mindfull.

• Acknowledge - (See the positive intentions): Assume the other person in the argument means well. Try to understanding his or her rationale and state it out loud directly to them.
• Express - (What you see): Affirm the positive intention you’ve identified and express your own specific concern.
• Indentify - (Propose a solution): Clearly define your objectives and recommendations. 
• Outcome - (Outline the benefits):  What’s in it for your opposition if they agree to accommodate you?
• Understanding - (Ask for feedback) Either nail down agreement on a next action or step, or work together to develop.alternatives.

Fixing communication gives a startup the tools and foundation they need to get the most out of the limited resources and capital they have. 

This doesn’t mean that there won’t be any more problems or confrontations, but you’ll have the strategies and techniques you need to handle them as they arise