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Ask Polly: 'Why Am I So Lazy?'

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https://www.thecut.com/2018/01/ask-polly-why-am-i-so-lazy.html

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Ask Polly: 'Why Am I So Lazy?'
Get Ask Polly delivered weekly. Dear Polly, Why am I so lazy? As long as I can remember, I've always done as little as possible to still get the job done, to still get the A, to get the extra credit and be the teacher's pet.

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Feeling lazy

Some people do the least to get just enough benefit. They can work hard, but only for a short amount of time. They always procrastinate with everything from cleaning to...

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You form your identity

You make messiness and procrastination part of your identity when you don't want to do something you have to do and use the excuse that it is just "who you are." 

For example, you wan...

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Conflicted about your choices

As long as you're conflicted about your preferences and the ways you've chosen to identify yourself, you have a problem.

It could be that you don't want to disappoint yourself and clearing th...

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The stories we tell about ourselves

Don't use other people's wrong observations as your own personal guide. “She hates to read!” “He’s lazy!” “She’s bad at math!”

Figure out who you are without falling back on everyone e...

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You aren’t lazy - you're afraid

  • You're afraid of investing your full self in anything, only to be disappointed. 
  • You're afraid to show your heart.
  • You're afraid to change your habits.

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Choosing who you are

What do you value? Look outside of the limited confines of other people's narratives about you. You might not be an introvert or a slacker. Maybe you're someone who wants to live out loud an...

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Overcoming inner conflicts

You're conflicted because your current habits are contrary to your story. Try to find out who you are:
  • Dig deep to find out your fears and face them
  • Experiment with schedules...

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The start of a whole new life

You'll dislike the hard work at first because you'll tell yourself you dislike hard work. What you're feeling is not dislike. It's fear. Fear of failure. You're afraid to disappoint.

Clear yo...

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Having 'everything'

We think once we have a fulfilling job, we'll be happy, or once we have a loving partner or children, we'll never feel dissatisfied again.

Yet, when we have all these things, we still feel ne...

Hiding from yourself

Pretending you’re normal and trying to fit in with the innocents in your midst keeps you sad and negative.

Don't stigmatize your dissatisfaction or restlessness. Don't scold yourself for your feelings, but make more space for them. These sensations will lead you down a new path toward joy.

Converse with your negative self

Try inviting your sad and negative self to find out why you feel this way. You won’t know what you truly want until you listen patiently to yourself. If you give it time, you'll find out what you really long for.

Sometimes, it is something about the way you've structured your days that doesn't honor the potential and countless possibilities that are stretched out before you. Or something about your anxiety has caused you to build things that restrict you. Your fears will keep you inside predictable shapes.

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Inefficiency

Many times we feel the pressure to adapt perfectly to our environments, not to waste our time and to maximize it.

Inefficient does not mean ineffective, nor lazy: You're a bit messy and us...

Efficiency Makes us Fragile

Total efficiency constrains us. We become highly invested in maintaining the status quo because that is where we excel.

However, innovation is a threat and change is terrifying. Being perfect at something is dangerous if that is all you can do.

Inefficiency Allows for Change

Inefficiency forces us to develop other traits that give us the flexibility to adapt to changing circumstances.

Leave aside the fear of new challenges. Leave aside the fear of not being the best. When you put yourself in situations where you aren't the most skilled, you learn and grow and adapt. When change comes, you will have a broader range of skills to explore new possibilities.

Share Your Expertise

  • Nothing helps deepen knowledge as effectively as sharing it.
  • It expands what you know. Sharing your expertise means inviting a new conversation. 
  • It estab...

Become a Mentor

  • There’s no shortage of young professionals looking for guidance. Share the hard earned lessons you’ve collected over the years.
  • Keep your eyes, ears, and mind open. The best part about mentorship is that when it’s a strong partnership, both people learn equally. 

Write

  • You’re automatically afforded a certain level of authority. It seems strange, but writers are presumed to be experts. Just be sure that whatever you put into writing is something you stand by wholeheartedly and are proud of.
  • This can quickly elevate your professional visibility and shape your reputation as a leader in your field. 

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