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How to Be a Good Friend

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How to Be a Good Friend
We all know how lovely friendship can be, but we seldom focus properly on what a good friend should actually be like. As a result, we miss out on opportuniti...

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The image of a "good friend"

The image of a "good friend"

Some of the reasons why we are not that good at friendships is the fact that we don't have a clear idea of what a really good friend might be like.

Maybe we should try ...

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The gift of vulnerability

Ideal friends know how to show weakness. They let us know awkward and embarrassing things about themselves.

They show how much they trust us by confessing mistakes and ...

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Embracing and understanding imperfection

Ideals friends are genuinely interested in our hardships; they are not shocked by the odd and stupid things we've done.

They are not judgmental or critical of our weakn...

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The gift of reassurance

Ideal friends are reassuring. They don't just flatter - they understand how easily we lose perspective, panic and underestimate our own abilities.

Sometimes, they g...

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Building self-understanding

A good friend helps us build our self-understanding.

Good friends listen to us and help us piece together the best accounts of our fears and excitements. Because there are ...

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Good friends help us think

We sometimes don't quite know what we think until a good friend asks us to expand on a thought, to explain why we adhere to it and to find possible objections for it.

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Good friends help us to like ourselves

They like us in ways we are not easily able to like ourselves.

Usually, we are more aware of our shortcomings than of our good parts. We need a friend because we are liable...

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

The People Pleaser

It's the person that feels that most of the time there is no other option but to adjust to the expectations of others, and yet harbors a lot of hidden resentment.

A Type Of Lie

People-pleasing is essentially a form of lying.

And we do it not to obtain some sort of advantage over someone, but because we deeply fear the annoyance and dissatisfaction of the people around us.

Origins Of People Pleasing

It is related to being around people (usually our parents) who seem to have a really hard time and even be unable to accept and forgive some odd but sometimes necessary facts about their child.

To survive, we decide to be responsive to what others expect us to do and be, leaving aside what we really want.

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Socrates

“Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm & constant.”

Socrates

Don't Gossip

Most of us want to be popular and resort to tactics like showing of and gossiping. The long term affects of being a gossip monger (losing trust and respect) outweigh any short term popularity you get.

Don't judge your friends

Most of our judgments towards our friends are wrong, and doing so leads to you being judged wrongly too.

Do not form opinions and pass judgments (not even mentally) and be happy to see your friendships blossom.

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Letters Of Complaint

Be polite. The person who gets your letter will seldom be the one who wronged you. And is unlikely to pass it on to the desired recipient if you are insulting and raging.

Make plain...

Letters To Friends

Always remember that your job, writing to a friend, is to entertain. That can mean revelling in the odd pratfall. So, don’t just write about the mundane and pleasant things, try to give them the whole picture and make them feel something.

Letters Of Condolence

  • You are extending respect and friendship. Write quickly, and preferably by hand.
  • You’ll want to calibrate what you write to your relationship both with the recipient and with the deceased. Make it personal.
  • If you knew the deceased well, sharing a couple of warm memories will let the recipient feel there’s a shared bond.
  • If you didn’t know the deceased, you can make respectful reference to what you knew of them.
  • Use tact. Don’t tell the recipient how they should be feeling.
  • If you’re finding it hard to know what to say, you can acknowledge that; but don’t harp on it.
  • Avoid operatic, or competitive, expressions of grief.
  • Acknowledge, but don’t belabour, the grief and pain they feel.
  • Focus on the individual excellence of the deceased rather than the consequences of the loss itself.
  • Be tactful of their religion even if you don’t believe in it. 

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