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How to Be Happy When You're in an Unhappy Situation : zen habits

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How to Be Happy When You're in an Unhappy Situation : zen habits
Sometimes life throws you into a miserable situation, and it can seem pretty dark. Just a few examples of unhappy situations: You lost a loved one You received bad news Your finances are messed up You're having a bad day at work Your partner is mad at you or has broken up with you You're sick or really tired You're in pain Someone has hurt you emotionally These are terrible, and it's normal to be pretty unhappy when things like this happen.

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Allow yourself to be unhappy

Wanting to get away from the unhappiness doesn’t make it better. It usually just prolongs the pain.

Instead, tell yourself that it’s OK to feel unhappy. Pause and allow yourself to fee...

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See the pain as aliveness

Being alive means feeling pain, feeling fear, feeling disconnected sometimes. Allow yourself to feel it, and imagine that this is what living feels like.

Because life isn’t numbness an...

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Find gratitude somewhere

Find three happy things in this moment to be grateful for.

Even small things we take for granted, like eyesight and music. Having relationships. Being supported by millions of people. ...

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Find joy in being alive

Even in our worst moments, we can find some joy in this not-small fact, that we are alive. 

Your heart is pumping. How freakin’ awesome is that?

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Happiness

Happiness

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Happiness is not the same as pleasure

While pleasure is correlated with happiness, pursuing pleasure does not cause happiness.

People who focus their energy on materialistic and superficial pleasures end up more anxious and less happy in the long run. Pleasure is necessary, but it's insufficient.

Lowering one’s expectations

Failing to meet your own expectations is not the opposite of happiness. Your ability to fail and still appreciate the experience is key to happiness.

The joy is not in getting what you want, but the process of working towards it, then raising the bar, and doing it again. If you fail, learn from it. 

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Pointless Criticism

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Blaming

When you blame someone, you take any responsibility off of yourself and put it on them. 

It’s understandable that you want to express your dissatisfaction with something. But sometimes you need to express it in order to find a solution, not to point singers.

Ineffective Complaining

Complaining is exhausting because it puts pressure on the other person. 

Complaining often results in the other person feeling as if they should somehow “fix” the problem or else just get away from the complaining. 

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