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How To Be More Engaging In Your Conversations

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https://www.bustle.com/articles/169621-11-ways-to-be-more-engaging-in-your-conversations-make-more-friends

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How To Be More Engaging In Your Conversations
Having meaningful conversations seems like a thing of the past alongside RAZR flip phones and VHS tapes. Because of technology, traditional human interaction is slowly disappearing and it's becoming hard to find ways to be more engaging in our conversations.

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"It's important to make the individual you are speaking with feel heard and understood. If you're not engaged in the conversation, you can come off as being rude, selfish, or that you just don't...

Julie Holmes - life coach

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Technology And Conversations

Your environment affects your personal relationships. Technologies like social media are making conversations harder and less engaging. But getting rid of it isn't necessarily the cur...

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Become An Active Listener

Be engaged and listen to what they are saying. Show interest, ask questions and clarifications. This shows others that you care about what they are saying, and about them in the bigger pictu...

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Ask Questions

When conversations stall, ask people about themselves or about their interests. This is especially good to connect with unknown people.

They will feel like you care about them, know an...

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Have Confidence

Mumbling or trailing off because you're worried about what others think of you can impact a conversation negatively. Let those distractions go.

A connection will most likely happen if ...

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Put Your Phone Away

Don't allow yourself to be distracted by your phone when you're having a good conversation with someone.

A study indicated that you can be viewed as less empathetic and trustworthy if you'...

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Use Reflective Listening

In order to have someone feel heard you can reflect back what they are saying to you. Simply paraphrase what they just said. This way they will feel understood and you are more engaging.

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Conversations With Open-Ended Questions

Conversations With Open-Ended Questions

If you begin discussions by asking questions regarding the current location or occasion, it can help release the pressure of trying to force a conversation. Make sure it is open ended, no...

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Mirror Their Actions

Mirroring someone else's body language can establish trust, good will and a connection between individuals.

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Get Out Of Your Head

Focusing too much on your own thoughts can leave you stressed and keep you from engaging. Try to let those distractions go when you're talking with someone so the person feels important and ...

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Try To See Things From Their Perspective

Try To See Things From Their Perspective

Look the other person in the eyes, and be genuinely curious about what they have to say and why they are saying it. Make a point to really want to understand the other person better, and try to ...

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Find Some Commonality

Asking questions and being vocal about your likes and dislikes can open new possibilities of conversational topics. Be curious. Ask many questions. Find things you have in common and talk ab...

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Keep Your Body Language In Check

93% of communication is nonverbal, so be mindful of your body language as people can tell when you are uninterested. Make direct eye contact, give respect by putting your phone away and face the...

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Research on communication

Research found that only 7 percent of communication comes from the words you use; the rest of what you communicate comes from your voice and tone (38 percent) and your body language (55 percent).

Connecting with people

If you really want to communicate effectively, you need to connect and converse with the people around you—beyond words on a screen.

Embrace small talk

Small talk might not be that meaningful, but it does have a few benefits: it can make you happier and it can boost the brain’s executive functions responsible for everything from attention and focus to time management to organization.

3 more ideas

When having a difficult conversation, be direct and get to the point quickly. 

Difficult conversations become even more difficult when the delivery is complicated.

Most of t...

Be Direct

During a difficult conversation, be quick and direct. This is not the time for feedback techniques, as they will mask the point of the conversation and lessen its impact making it more difficult.

Often, the person knows that a critique is coming, so rather than dancing around the subject, just get to it. It’s better for both parts.

Be Specific

Be honest and thorough with your feedback, give examples and fully clarify why you're having the conversation.

The more clarity you can provide, the better the critique will be received.

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Validate Their Feelings

Saying things like 'I understand why you'd feel that way...' or 'Anyone would feel like that in the same situation' validates the other person's emotions and completely disarm...

Look At It As A Conversation

Go back to the concept of talking with someone rather than talking to someone.

It can help keep the other person cool, which pretty much always means you've won the argument.

Make It All About Them

We naturally approach the world from our own points of view,

The key to successful persuasion is to show how and why something matters in relation to that person's life and experience.

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How To Be An Active Listener

  1. Ignore internal and external distractions (thoughts and sounds).
  2. Listen to the content of their speech and their specific wording
  3. Listen to ...

Selective Listening

Means to focus on a few key words and ignore the rest of someone's communication. 

It often manifests as one gets distracted by external stimuli like random sounds or movements, and internal stimuli such as one's own thoughts and feelings.

Active Listening

Means to fully concentrate on what is being said rather than passively absorbing it

It's not just remembering the content of what was said, but using empathy and seeking to understand the complete message, including the emotional tones conveyed. It builds rapport, understanding and trust.

We're bad at listening

We come into conversations with our own agendas and low attention spans, and that can be a dangerous combination.

When you’re doing the talking, though, it’s frustrating if you’re not being h...

Being present in conversations

  • Get your face out of your phone and focus your attention.
  • Be willing to receive information.
  • Be willing to engage in the conversation and to listen with the intent to understand.
  • Be willing to stay the course and not let your mind wander.
  • Bring the conversation to a close with takeaways and next steps.
  • Respect the existence of emotions and their roles and be aware of the body language also.
  • Keep your ego out of the conversation.

What happens when you listen

  • Listening is the basis for growth and advancement. You can’t advance your skills and knowledge without understanding others.
  • Listening is also important because we all want love and respect; we want to spend time with people who listen.

An icebreaker that works

The only icebreaker question that'll work every single time: Tell me about yourself.

It is more effective than "So what do you do?" Posing a broad question lets people lea...

Stay curious and engaged

After the initial breaking, you have to really listen to how the other person responds. What are they excited about? Ask them more questions about that.

Pay attention to body language. You will be able to tell if someone is losing interest, for instance, eyes wandering, crossing arms or turning away from you.

Exit gracefully

Not every conversation will be a big hit. You will run out of things to say. Be honest. Say you've got to go to the bathroom or say hi to your other friend. Then go.

Even though it might feel rude, remember that it will free up time to start another potentially interesting conversation with someone else.

Be direct

When having a difficult conversation, be direct and get to the point quickly.

Difficult conversations become even more difficult when the delivery...

Be specific

The more clarity you can provide, the better the critique will be received during a difficult conversation.

Be honest and thorough with your feedback, and fully clarify why you're having the conversation. Offer as many concrete examples as possible so the person understands you're not just pulling things out of thin air. 

Plan out the conversation

Prepar for a difficut conversation in advance: think of what you’re going to say, as well as anticipate how the other person might react

The more prepared you are, the easier it will be to stay even tempered and not get flustered, and therefore deliver a more solid critique.

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Let People Talk First

Let others to talk about themselves first. Then, you’ll be able to sell yourself more naturally.

If they are interested in what you have to offer, you can naturally transition into a p...

Ask Good Questions That Show You’re Engaged

Ask at least one question before changing topic to show you’re engaged. Gathering details makes it more likely that you’ll be able to establish a connection with the other person or find a way you can lend a hand.

Prepare For A Conversation Without Being Creepy

Take a look at the person’s LinkedIn or Twitter account to get an idea of his tone, interests, etc. You’re always at an advantage when you know more about a person. It will be easier to relate to him and you might avoid awkward conversations.

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Why Interviewers Ask It

This introductory question serves as an icebreaker to lend an easy flow to the conversation. It helps the recruiter to get to know you in terms of hard and soft skills.

It’s a great op...

How to build your response

  • Present: Talk a little bit about what your current role is, the scope of it, and possibly a recent achievement.
  • Past: Tell the interviewer how you got there and/or mention a past experience that’s relevant to the job and company you’re applying for.
  • Future: Continue with what you’re looking to do next and why you’re interested in this job.
You do not have to respond in this order. Tweak it to suit you. Make sure to tie it to the job and company.

Tailor Your Answer

Interviewers want to know how your answer about yourself is relevant to the position and company you’re applying for.

This is an opportunity to articulate why you’re interested and how your objective fulfills their goals. In order to do that, spend some time researching the company. If your answers resonate with them, it shows that you really understand the role.

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Disagreement Is The New Reality

The ability to have productive disagreements is a superpower.

But disagreement or an argument usually has toxicity associated with it, with judgment, self-protection and a sense of con...

Aligning the Argument

In a disagreement, often certain crucial information isn't available or isn't clearly understood by either person. We need to ask ourselves if:

  • The argument is about something that can be verified.
  • If it matters to you (meaningful).
  • If it is useful.
Then we need to make sure that the other person aligns and comes on the same page.

    Anxiety Spikes

    Anxiety spikes happen when something triggers us during an argument, usually when what that we care about feels threatened.

    We need to be aware of these spikes to guide us into the emotional aspect of the argument, rather than only focusing on information.

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