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How to Cope With Rejection

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https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fighting-fear/201308/how-cope-rejection

psychologytoday.com

How to Cope With Rejection
I am afraid that rejection and failure and disappointment are a regular feature of ordinary life, no matter how successful someone may be. Any set of circumstances in which one reaches out for something: acceptance, approval, the good opinion of friends and family-the good opinion of anyone at all-- there is the risk and, indeed, the certainty of rejection from time to time.

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Rejection

Rejection and failure and disappointment are a regular feature of ordinary life, no matter how successful someone may be. 

Any set of circumstances in which one reaches out for so...

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Keep the odds in mind

Know ahead of time what the chances are of a particular effort for being successful. 

If the odds are long, that is not a reason for not trying; it is a reason not to be discouraged by ...

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Keep more than one iron in the fire

Having a manuscript rejected by one publishing house is less devastating if that book is being considered at the same time somewhere else.

An unsuccessful job interview does not fee...

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Rejection doesn't define you

Rejection is not a reflection of who you are. People get turned down for every sort of thing for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with merit. 

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Don't become sensitive to rejection

Many times the rejection does 50 percent of the damage and we do the other 50 percent of the damage. 

We start with this high volume of negative self-talk and criticism that takes the ...

Rejection hurts

Humans are social animals -- which makes rejection all the more emotionally painful.

Anything that keeps us out of the group in an overt way, we're going to have a hard time with. It's an important aspect of who we are.

Identifying the hardest-hit

People whose self-esteem is lower will experience rejection as more painful, and it'll take them a little longer to get over it. Those who have higher self-esteem -- but who aren't narcissists -- tend to be more resilient.

Rejection-sensitive people might think about 'How can I get myself out of this situation?' or how to avoid a situation altogether.

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Importance of failure

We need to start talking about failure as life's master instructor. Experiences in failure are less about not finding success than they are about problem solving, and the skills cultivated a...

People who turned failing into success

  • JK Rowling. One of the most powerful modern writers whose net worth hovers around $1 billion was once living on welfare.
  • Walt Disney. Before the Disney empire was built, he was fired as a writer for lacking imagination and good ideas.
  • Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first TV job as a news anchor for being too emotionally invested in the stories she covered.
  • Steven Spielberg was rejected by the University of Southern California's School of Cinematic Arts multiple times. Today, the profit of his movies exceeds $9 billion.

  • Lady GaGa, with 6 Grammy awards and entry to the Songwriters Hall of Fame, was dropped as a young artist after 3 months with record label Island Def Jam. 

  • Stephen King's failure and rejection as a writer persisted well into his adult years, before striking gold with his story, Carrie.

Acknowledge Your Emotions

Mentally strong people admit when they're embarrassed, sad, disappointed, or discouraged. They have confidence in their ability to deal with uncomfortable emotions head-on, ...

Rejection And Pushing Limits

For mentally strong people, rejection serves as proof that they're living life to the fullest. They expect to be rejected sometimes, and they're not afraid to go for it, even when they suspect it may be a long shot.

If you never get rejected, you may be living too far inside your comfort zone.

Treat Yourself With Compassion

Rather than think, "You're so stupid for thinking you could do that," mentally strong people treat themselves with compassion. 

They respond to negative self-talk with a kinder, more affirming message.

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