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How to Defend Yourself Without Appearing Defensive

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https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/ambigamy/202006/how-defend-yourself-without-appearing-defensive

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How to Defend Yourself Without Appearing Defensive
Defending others is much easier than defending yourself without appearing defensive. Here are some ways to keep your defense from backfiring.

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Defending everyone's fallibility

Defending everyone's fallibility

When people don't trust you, you’re already at a big disadvantage and anything you say can be dismissed as mere defensive revenge.

The best you can do is to resist fighting for infa...

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The art of presenting ideas

Aristotle’s distinction between three aspects of rhetoric:

  • Your logos or logic: your reasons, the facts of the matter as you see them.
  • Your pathos ...

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Exhibit some fallibilism

  • Make your doubter's case against you, so that they feel heard. Visit the possibility that you’re wrong.
  • Show that you get them by giving voice to their...

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Have an exit strategy

Be careful during the debate, knowing you may have to withdraw in the end. If you take good care, you can withdraw with the consolation of thoroughness. Though you tried hard to restore common grou...

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Taking breaks is key to better productivity

Taking breaks is key to better productivity

The harder and longer you work, the less productive overall you'll be. Research confirms that taking breaks before you're mentally exhausted is essential for productivity.

Setting healthy boundaries

Set your personal boundaries, so you have dedicated time to take care of yourself, your family or household, and your professional responsibilities. You won't be any good to your family if you regularly jump up to respond to work.

The key to success is deciding on expectations, then communicating those to others. You need to get clear in your mind what hours you will be attending to your work. Perhaps dedicate a space in your home as the "office," letting everyone know that you need privacy. Decide when you are "on" and when you are "off."

Technology and productivity

We all have tools in our pockets to help us.

  • For example, consider using your phone's built-in alarm for taking breaks, or giving yourself a reminder to eat lunch, or taking a screen break to reduce eyestrain.
  • If you find it challenging to work, consider a productivity method like the Pomodoro technique, where you work deeply for about 25 minutes, then take a short break. Repeat four of the cycles, then take a 30-minute break before starting again. There are many Pomodoro apps to help you.
  • Don't forget to use the same technology to turn off notifications and distractions while you're working.

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Tackling Trust Issues

Tackling Trust Issues

It is quite possible that certain employees are not trusted by the manager, and there is a lack of confidence in their abilities. The employees are given lower-quality work or are micro-man...

Competent, Reliable and Trustworthy

  • Once there is clarity, one needs to enhance the bosses perception about being competent, reliable and trustworthy. Playing on one’s strengths while correcting the weak areas is a good initial strategy.
  • Have frequent check-ins to ensure there is no derailment, or to make any course correction.
  • Provide a plan of action that is tangible, measurable and showcases your progress in a visual, clear way.
  • Provide daily or weekly updates about your activities and try to appear bold and confident.

Being Transparent With Your Work

  • Do not protest if you still get lower-quality work, as it may lead to the boss believing that you should not be given higher-quality work, just like before.
  • Be transparent and forthcoming and the work with your boss rather than providing them with bad news at the last moment.
  • Do not rush towards becoming a ‘hero’ right away, and try to make steady progress, demonstrating your competence.

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About uncertainty

About uncertainty

Most of us are quite addicted to a degree of certainty of all kinds, as this is what makes us feel safe. And now we all know nothing compares to feelings such as safety and control.

When f...

Stepping in the unknown

While it can be quite scary, stepping out in the unknown is necessary every now and then.

In order to push your limits, you should consider taking up new challenges that will not only make you experience fear, but most probably also later success into dealing with new and stressful situations. Furthermore, your brain will get trained to form new connections, which can only prove beneficial in the long run.

Train your mind to defeat uncertainty

Recent research has shown that uncertainty scares people even more than knowing that things are going to actually end up badly.

Therefore, in order to be mentally prepared to beat uncertainty, what better way than just imagining the worst case scenario? If it turns out badly, you will at least not be taken by surprise and, if it turns out well, you will be happy.

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