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How to disagree well: 7 of the best and worst ways to argue

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https://bigthink.com/paul-ratner/how-to-disagree-well-7-of-the-best-and-worst-ways-to-argue

bigthink.com

How to disagree well: 7 of the best and worst ways to argue
Many find themselves arguing with someone on the Internet, especially in these days fraught with political tensions. A great tool, the web also seems to drive dispute. It is also a reflection of the larger reality, where divisiveness has spread throughout our society.

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Paul Graham's disagreement hierarchy

  • DH0. Name-calling: the lowest level of argument.
  • DH1. Ad hominem: attackung the person rather than the point they are making.
  • DH2...

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Straw man arguments

A straw man argument is a misrepresentation of an opinion or viewpoint, designed to be as easy as possible to contradict.

The only purpose is for it to be easy to expose. I...

Hollow man arguments

This is a weak case (similar to the Straw man arguments) attributed to a non-existent group: Someone will fabricate a viewpoint that is easy to contradict, then claim it was made by a group they disagree with. Arguing against an opponent which doesn’t exist is a pretty easy way to win any debate.

People who use hollow man arguments will often use vague, non-specific language without explicitly giving any sources or stating who their opponent is.

Iron man argument

It is designed to be resistant to attacks by a defier.There arguments are difficult to avoid because they have a lot of overlap with legitimate debate techniques.

A person using an iron man argument will most likely make their own viewpoint so vague that nothing anyone says about it can weaken it. They’ll use jargon and imprecise terms. This means they can claim anyone who disagrees didn’t understand them, or they’ll rephrase their argument multiple times.

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Disagreement is healthy

It is essential for success. It’s the hallmark of an engaged and involved team member. And it opens the way for testing and improving new ideas.

It should also be treated as a chance t...

The art of disagreement

Mastering the art of considerate disagreement means expressing your beliefs without shutting down the discussion or angering the other side.

For this to happen, you have to listen more, be willing to change your perspective on disagreement and learn to better your arguments.

Ed Catmull

Ed Catmull

“You are not your idea, and if you identify too closely with your ideas, you will take offense when they are challenged.”

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It’s not necessarily a bad thing to fight

It’s not necessarily a bad thing to fight

Certain lines should not be crossed, and it’s important to repair them.

For that, keep in mind you have to validate the other person’s feelings and acknowledge the fact they experience t...

The form fights take

  • The first dynamic of an argument: you gather the information that reinforces your beliefs and neglect information that challenges them.
  • The second dynamic: the negative attribution theoryIf I’m treating you poorly, it’s because I had a bad day.
  • The third dynamic: the negative escalation cycle. This is when we instigate from a person the very behavior we don’t want.

Mistakes during arguments

  • "Holding: the absolute truth: We think that when we say something during a conflict, it is an absolute truth rather than a reflection of an experience. If I feel it, then it must be a fact.
  • Using the words "always" and "never:" I always do all the work/You never help with the work. Nobody likes to be defined by someone else.
  • Chronic criticism: It happens when you criticize so much that you leave the other person feeling like he can never do anything right.

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