deepstash

Beta

How To Instantly Charm Someone You've Never Met Before

Deepstash brings you key ideas from the most inspiring articles like this one:

Read more efficiently

Save what inspires you

Remember anything

https://www.lifehacker.com.au/2015/03/how-to-instantly-charm-someone-youve-never-met-before/

lifehacker.com.au

How To Instantly Charm Someone You've Never Met Before
When you meet new people, you want to make a good impression and come across as likeable as possible. If turning on the charm is something you struggle with, here are the most important tips and tricks for charming the pants off someone you haven't met....

12

Key Ideas

Save all ideas

Be Yourself And Be Ready For Rejection

Be Yourself And Be Ready For Rejection

Having charm is not about deceiving others. Keep strong negative feelings to yourself, do your best to reveal who you are and if you disagree with something, do so nicely.

No ma...

294 SAVES


Be Swift and Sweet

Keep the conversation moving at a comfortable but somewhat brisk pace. Don’t cut the conversation short if things are going well, but also avoid hitting uncomfortable lulls

205 SAVES


A Simple Touch Can Go A Long Way

Touch is a physical way of indicating acceptance and if properly timed it can be very charming

There's nothing wrong with a handshake when you introduce yourself, ...

193 SAVES


The Right Kind Of Humour

If you know some jokes or have a knack for being funny, go for it, but keep it as clean and broadly acceptable as possible to generate charisma. Nothing turns off the charm faster than inapp...

194 SAVES


Mind Your Manners And Be Kind

Mind Your Manners And Be Kind
  • Acting polite during a conversation, puts you ahead in the game. 
  • Actively listen to them talk and don't interrupt them while they're speaking. 

255 SAVES


Make Them Feel Like You "Get" Them

Make Them Feel Like You "Get" Them

People want to be understood and accepted, so you want to be empathetic to them and their experiences as best as you can. Finding commonalities is key to developing emotional connecti...

227 SAVES


Look For "Latch" Words

They are words that fit your own interests that you can use to generate more conversation with. If you like to travel and someone starts to talk about going on vacation, you can latch on to ...

190 SAVES


Charm, Don't Manipulate

Manipulation is tricking someone into liking you, while charm is just portraying yourself in the best light possible so others can relate and appreciate you. The former is frowned ...

200 SAVES


Approach With a Confident Smile

The smile is important because it subconsciously implies that you’re not a threat and makes you look like you're confident and enjoying yourself. People like to be around other...

207 SAVES


Politely Introduce Yourself With a Question

Politely Introduce Yourself With a Question

Be extra polite and start with a question. Questions are a great way to get to know someone, but they're also your most effective tool when it comes to being charming.

People...

200 SAVES


Commit Their Name To Memory And Use It

Commit Their Name To Memory And Use It
People like when their names are remembered. To do so more easily:
  • Repeat the name throughout your conversation. You're more likely to remember it if you say it yourself.
  • End your conve...

209 SAVES


Introduce Them To Someone

Introducing someone you just met to someone else makes you look good and like you know a lot of people, especially if you say they are your friend. It can also help you remember their nam...

181 SAVES


SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Likeability is a quick judgment

We make judgments about someone’s likeability, trustworthiness and competence after seeing their face for less than a tenth of a second.

Making snap judgments might determine who we vote for....

Put on a happy face

A happier face conveys trustworthiness. People will consider a smiling face as more trustworthy, warmer and sociable.

Not all is lost if your first impression has not been as good as you hoped. If you can impress someone afterwards, they will often not remember their first impression of you.

Direct your charm

Charm is defined as your likability - how pleasant it is to interact with you.

And it is possible to train yourself to be charming.

3 more ideas

Find common ground

After having introduced yourself, you should find something in common that connects you right away. 

It opens the door to more conversation--and keeping words up is key when you f...

Move on to deeper topics

Although focusing on shallow topics to start--such as the weather or sports or your favorite new film--makes breaking the ice easier, your goal should be to move on to deeper topics as you gain familiarity with the other person.

It takes one joke

... an anecdote, or a well-timed story in order to show other people that you understand them. 

Perhaps it's a connection about a mutual friend at work or a common breakfast spot you shared growing up. It's the one spark that ends up transforming the interaction from being acquaintance-like to a true friendship.

The biggest challenge to moving forward on anything

... is the transition to working on it. It almost always represents a shift from doing something comfortable to doing something uncomfortable.

We tend to think that getting tracti...

3 steps to transitioning

  • Start with willpower. Willpower in a moment is much more reliable than willpower over long stretches of time (In some cases you just need to force yourself through a moment to get to the other side).
  • Commit to repetition. Even if your mind starts protesting, ignore it and keep going.
  • Benefit from adaptability. The mental and physical challenges will be so diminished, that you'll no longer experienced the transition as pain.

Get good at moving from comfort to discomfort

  1. Identify something important to you that you want to move ahead with.
  2. Identify the transition point to working on it. Examples of transition points are: Pick up the phone and dial (for a conversation); ask a question and then stop talking (for receiving feedback).
  3. Make the decision — set a time and place where you will get started (transition).
  4. Prime your emotional courage. Starting something hard will bring up feelings of discomfort and you will need to be prepared to feel things to move through it without stopping. 
  5. Follow through without questioning
  6. Repeat this every day.