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How to Love: Legendary Zen Buddhist Teacher Thich Nhat Hanh on Mastering the Art of "Interbeing"

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https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/03/31/how-to-love-thich-nhat-hanh/

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How to Love: Legendary Zen Buddhist Teacher Thich Nhat Hanh on Mastering the Art of "Interbeing"
What does love mean, exactly? We have applied to it our finest definitions; we have examined its psychology and outlined it in philosophical frameworks; we have even devised a mathematical formula for attaining it. And yet anyone who has ever taken this wholehearted leap of faith knows that love remains a mystery - perhaps the mystery of the human experience.

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"When we feed and support our own happiness, we are nourishing our ability to love. That’s why to love means to learn the art of nourishing our happiness". -  Thich Nhat Hanh

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"Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love."  - Thich Nhat ...

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" The most precious inheritance that parents can give their children is their own happiness. Our parents may be able to leave us money, houses, and land, but they may not be happy people...

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"Often, we get crushes on others not because we truly love and understand them, but to distract ourselves from our suffering. When we learn to love and understand ourselves ...

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Real, truthful love is rooted in four elementsloving kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity — fostering which lends love “the element of holiness.” - Thich Nhat Han...

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Unrequited Love

It is a feeling of being obsessive or fixated about a person as if one has found an oasis in a desert of nothingness. Insisting that the relationship will work out exactly as you want ca...

The Other Person

The other person can sense the unease, the possessive desperation, neediness, and even creepiness in you that arises from 'clinging' towards them.

Even if we play it cool, and follow the dating norms and etiquettes, the 'needy' energy can leak out of us, repelling the other person. If you are feeling like that, it is best to listen to yourself with compassion.

Self-Examination

Being left alone or not being able to have a fulfilling relationship with one person is a perfect opportunity for self-discovery and self-examination.

Instead of waiting for the other person to suddenly start loving you (an external event you cannot control) you are much better off understanding the situation objectively, absorbing the learning it brings. Love can come from diverse sources if you are open to life, alternatives and possibilities.

The forms of love

Love is not just found in romantic love directed at one person.

Love includes the depth of close friendships, the sense of belonging in a community, the intensity of an artistic practice...

It takes a village to feel loved

In history, marriage was a pragmatic institution. A sense of identity was more embedded in community, and not solely in marriage.

The shift to individualism and choice has meant that we feel the need to find our identity in an all-encompassing romantic partnership. We are asking from one person what once an entire village used to provide.

Recognising that one person can't be your everything can help you find a broader definition of love.

The love of friendship

Sharing your experiences with others is an essential ingredient to feeling connected.

This conncection doesn't have to come in the form of a partner or having friends around you all the time. Rather, it is the quality of your close relationships that has an impact on your well being.

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Thich Nhat Hanh

“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling t..."

Thich Nhat Hanh

Accept and deal with your anger

Learning to accept and deal with one's anger is an important step to happiness.

Once you have accepted and come to release all the anger within, you will most certainly feel a huge amount of relief while actually avoiding possible internal illnesses.

5 efficient ways to express your anger

  • Practice meditation
  • Keep a journal
  • Do exercises
  • Prepare your favorite food yourself
  • Take steps towards accepting yourself and your emotions.