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It interferes with performance and inhibits expression.
Taken to its extreme, we become totally preoccupied with not making a mistake, with seeking approval for security above all othe...
Write a clear description of your problem, the answer to the question, “What exactly am I worrying about?”
Fully 50% of all problems can be solved at this definition stage. Many...
Write out the worst possible outcome of the worry situation. Answer the question, “What is the worst possible thing that can happen as a result of this problem?”
It is resistanc...
Start telling yourself,"If it happens this way, I’ll learn to live with it."
Once you have resolved to accept the worst, should it occur, you no longer have anything to worry ab...
Think of everything that you could possibly do to make sure that the very worst does not occur.
Once you stop worrying and have resolved to accept the worst, your mind will be ca...
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The chips aren’t always going to fall where you want them to, but if you understand that reality going in, you can be prepared to wring the most value out of the experience, no matter the outcom...
Behind many fears is worry about doing something wrong, looking foolish, or not meeting expectations — in other words, fear of failure. By framing a situation you’re dreading differently before you attempt it, you may be able to avoid some stress and anxiety.
Goals can be classified as approach goals or avoidance goals based on whether you are motivated by wanting to achieve a positive outcome or avoid an adverse one.
When you’re dreading a tough task and expect it to be difficult and unpleasant, you may unconsciously set goals around what you don’t want to happen rather than what you do want.
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We're often presented with challenges that we've not encountered before that may leave us feeling fearful of making mistakes. But no one can reduce mistakes to zero.
Don't be ashamed or afraid of your fear of making mistakes, and don't think that being fearful is evidence that you're an indecisive leader. If you are prevention-focused, channel it to be bold and visionary.
The traditional image of a leader is one who is intelligent, brave, and unafraid. Your concern about making mistakes is there to remind you that you're in a challenging situation. Being cautious has value.
Fear of mistakes can prevent people from taking action. Overcome this paralysis with emotional agility skills:
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Some are useful, and some are useless fears that you can't or shouldn't do anything about.
They sap your strength for no reason, and you shou...
In scuba diving, for instance, fear can cause you to breathe too fast, swim too hard, move too suddenly, fail to take note of your surroundings, or rise too quickly toward the surface.
Knowing that fear has the potential to harm you can help you set it aside. Fold up that fear, put it in a box, and promise you'll get back to it later at a less dangerous time.
You may think it's your judgment deciding that something is dangerous and you should be afraid, but what actually happens is that fear chemicals are flooding into your brain.
Experiments have shown that fear can be induced artificially by injecting certain chemicals. Do the chemicals know what you should and shouldn't be afraid of? They don't. You do.
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“We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.”
We misunderstand the value of fear when we think that being constantly hypervigilant will keep us safe.
Being afraid all the time doesn’t keep danger away from us. Instead, we need to learn to recognize key signals that could predict risk, in order to actually feel calmer and safer.
When we walk around terrified all the time, we can’t pick out the signal from the noise.
If you’re constantly scared, you can’t correctly notice when there is something genuine to fear. True fear is a momentary signal, not an ongoing state.
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From a young age, we learn that not everyone is on our side, and not all situations are going to go our way.
Over time, we build walls around our hearts to pro...
Building walls create a safe space into which you can quickly retreat, but it also leaves you trapped behind your own emotional defenses, unable to give or receive positive emotions as well as negative ones.
This, in turn, leaves many people feeling isolated and alone.
The fear of vulnerability is ultimately a fear of rejection or abandonment. To combat it, you must first learn to love and accept yourself with all your flaws, embarrassing stories, past mistakes, insecurities and awkwardness.
Realize that everyone feels like this, regardless of how successful they are.
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Trying to push the worries out of your head is inherently problematic because to be vigilant about not thinking about something, your brain needs to keep it in mind.
Mindfulness does the opposite by making you aware of your state of anxiousness.
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You can decide to interpret rejection as evidence of someone’s perception rather than as evidence of your flawed nature.
The area rug that is...
Is 1% significant?
You can be aware of the unpleasant experience, but if you don’t focus on it, you’ll take away its power.
Place your attention on the positive feedback and support you receive from others. Being consciously aware of the people who have encouraged you will allow you to align with high-energy emotions and positive situations.
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Try imagining yourself when you are 80 years old, nearing the end of your life. Look back on your life as if you had not achieved the goal you are after at this moment in your life. What ...
We make excuses and push aside our dreams. There’s just not enough time, money, etc.) And we start to hide behind those excuses. They’re safe. By becoming more cognizant of your brain’s tendency for using excuses, the better you will become at dismissing them.
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Public speaking is often topping the charts as the No. 1 fear in the world.
People feel anxious, sweaty, or have a pounding heart while being on stage in front of an audience.
A great way to remove a large portion of fear is to practice hard, studying the topic well. You can research all questions that the audience may ask, and practice the speech in front of a mirror or in front of friends.
Practicing soothes our nerves, making us ready for the final audience.
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The most common reaction in a fear situation is the attitude of, “I can’t!”
This is the fear of failure that stops us from taking action. It often shuts down the brain and causes us to revert to the “fight-or-flight” reaction.
Your self-image, the way you see yourself and think about yourself, is eventually altered by feeding your mind these positive mental pictures of yourself performing at your best.
So visualize yourself performing with confidence and competence in an area where you are fearful.
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