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How to Use "Solomon's Paradox" to Make Better Decisions

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https://medium.com/the-ascent/how-to-use-solomons-paradox-to-make-better-decisions-f7f443c7d4df

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How to Use "Solomon's Paradox" to Make Better Decisions
When I was 22, I dated a man who cheated on me with a woman I knew. I was hopelessly in love with him. I ached for him so much that when he wanted to get back into my bed after being in hers, I let him.

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Solomon's Paradox

Solomon's Paradox suggests that we reason about other people's social problems in a better way as our outlook has a certain distance.

This paradox is evident when we cannot see our ...

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Get some Distance

Our emotions take precedence in our own problems due to our narrow viewpoint.

  • If we imagine that instead of us, it's someone else whom we are advising, we may have a more objective su...

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Accept your Objective Wisdom

Accepting the wisdom that comes from being objective is critical, though it may mean coming in terms with yourself.

Distancing yourself from the situation gives you clarity, but the bitter...

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Act on your Wisdom

The self-advise that is now accepted, has to be acted upon.

Action is crucial after you objectively understand and accept the problem.

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The faulty logic

We usually consider moving into marriage in an attempt to preserve and prolong the happy romantic feelings that characterize the early stages of almost all relationships.
But in most cases, ther...

Unrealistic expectations

The gap between expectation and reality is the cause for many of life’s disappointments.
We like to create detailed fantasies of how our lives are going to be. But when we expect our reality to match a fantasy but life turns out nothing like it, we feel disappointed.

Asking the right questions

"Are you the right person for me?" is the wrong question to ask, because nothing outside of ourselves can fix us or bring us happiness.
A more constructive question to ask would be "Can I accommodate your imperfections with humor and grace?"

What Self-Reflection Is

What Self-Reflection Is

Is the process of thinking back on previous events and interpreting them through your experience. 

It’s about taking a step back and reflecting on your life, behavior and beliefs....

The Importance of Self-Reflection

  • It improve self-awareness.
  • It allows you to understand and see things from a different point of view. 
  • It allows you to respond, not react.
  • It facilitates a deeper level of learning.
  • It improves confidence.
  • It makes you challenge your assumptions.

The Process of Self-Reflection

  • STOP: Take a step back from life or a particular situation.
  • LOOK: Identify and get perspective on what you notice and see.
  • LISTEN: Listen to your inner guide, the innate wisdom that bubbles up when you give it time and space to emerge.
  • ACT: Identify the steps you need to take moving forward to adjust, change or improve.

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The Elixir of Life

Sleep, something which people take for granted, much like oxygen, is the elixir of life.

Insomniacs must know that sleep is natural, and normal, with each of us having the ...

Tips for Sleeping

  • Get up at the same time every morning.
  • Write affirmations to tell yourself that your body knows how to sleep.
  • Don't involve your over-thinking mind too much.
  • Use your bed is for sleep and sex only.
  • Don't lie awake for more than 20 minutes on the bed, and if you can't sleep, get up and try to do some calming activity like folding laundry.

The Enemy of Sleep

Our body will take care of itself if left on its own. It is our mind which is the culprit, running like a motor, inducing low-grade anxiety inside us.

Sleep is not something you have to do, but something which happens naturally to you. If an insomniac forgets that he is an insomniac, he will have a good night's sleep.