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If You're Feeling Stuck, This May Be Why

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https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/intimacy-path-toward-spirituality/201610/if-you-re-feeling-stuck-may-be-why

psychologytoday.com

If You're Feeling Stuck, This May Be Why
Many of us are quietly plagued by a nagging sense being flawed or defective. We secretly believe that we're a failure, which stifles our energy, cramps our freedom, and prevents us from being ourselves. Toxic shame is a painful emotion. In fact, so painful that may not even notice it.

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Defensiveness and toxic shame

Defensiveness and toxic shame

Toxic shame is an emotion that most of us get to know throughout our lifetime: deep inside, we feel that we have failed ourselves or the others.

The actual issue, when...

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Obsessed with perfection

Anybody who is obsessed with the idea of being perfect will most probably end up having a major frustration. To put it simply, making mistakes is just natural for us, humans.

...

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Shame and apologies

When making a mistake, some individuals find it extremely difficult to admit and apologize. This often leads to misunderstandings and even more tense relationships.

On the contrary,

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Putting things off

When having to confront possible failures and, therefore, future shame, most of us have the tendency to postpone taking actions that might result in unsuccessful trials.

Better than becomi...

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

We Lack Commitment

No matter what we tell ourselves, we are not committed fully towards most things. We tend to be different people, committing to change our diet, exercise or start on a certain goal, only to become ...

Effects of Being Uncommitted

Some effects of not being committed:

  • We lose trust in ourselves and create a negative self-image.
  • We tend to shrink and hide in our comfort zones.
  • We lose the trust of our friends and family.
  • We see that people don't trust us and feel guilty.

Start Being Committed

Ignite your committed self:

  • Observe and realize that your commitment levels need to be corrected.
  • Check your true desire to commit, if it feels right, and if you have space and energy to uphold and sustain the commitment.
  • See if you can bet something substantial to uphold this commitment.
  • Take action and create a winning environment around you.
  • Start with a relatively small commitment.
  • Do whatever it takes to never break a promise to yourself again.

Workplace Drama

When workplace drama affects you, it can become an insidious cloud that permeates your day-to-day.

Be mindful and ask yourself, "What is actually going on here?" Focus on the fa...

Count Your Elephants

Make a list of all of the awkward, uncomfortable realities that haven't been discussed out in the open. 

Set aside time to consciously think through, what's actually bothering you right now and write down these elephants to enable you to resolve these issues.

Identify Your Role In The Problem

Be honest with yourself: Are you contributing to the situation negatively or doing anything to help?

Write down the ways in which you've contributed, and identify how you can personally take responsibility. 

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The illusory truth effect

The illusory truth effect

It's our tendency to believe false information to be correct after repeated exposure to it.

The illusory truth effect is the reason why advertising and propaganda works.

Why repetition reinforces a belief

The typical explanation is that our brains take shortcuts to save energy:

  • Statements presented in as easy-to-read color are judged as more likely to be true.
  • Aphorisms that rhyme (like “what sobriety conceals, alcohol reveals") seem more accurate than non-rhyming versions.

    Carl Sagan

    Carl Sagan

    “One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. ”

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