deepstash

Beta

Love in the Time of Individualism

Deepstash brings you key ideas from the most inspiring articles like this one:

Read more efficiently

Save what inspires you

Remember anything

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/09/love-in-the-time-of-individualism/540474/

theatlantic.com

Love in the Time of Individualism
Two new books explore America's changing romantic landscape. C.S. Lewis's wife, Joy Davidman, died of bone cancer on July 13, 1960. The next day, the famous author wrote a letter to Peter Bide, the priest who had married them, to tell him the news.

6

Key Ideas

Save all ideas

Free And Lonely

Most Americans of this generation are now more free than the earlier generations. They are free and spoilt for choice to date, marry, divorce or have casual sexual encounters.

The price of...

162 SAVES


Modern Dating Scene

Mark Regnerus provides some insights into the modern dating scene:

  • A casual relationship is now preferred to a committed one.
  • Sex is now a field for marketers to provid...

145 SAVES


Marriage is now an Option

Youngsters are now wary of a life-long relationship and consider it as an option.

  • One-third of people who are in their twenties may never marry.
  • The increase of freedom...

130 SAVES


Gender Roles

  • In the modern dating scene, men and women share different power equations than the early generations.
  • Basic demand and supply are the same as before, with men being the demand, and wom...

145 SAVES


Commitment

As observed in modern heterosexual relationships, the reasons to sacrifice and commit have largely faded for men.

The path to commitment in a relationship is now riddled with con...

135 SAVES


App Love

In the dating apps on our smartphones, the rules are according to the app makers on how people can meet, connect or talk to each other.
  • Men like to connect with maximum women, ...

117 SAVES


SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Humor In A relationship

A sense of humor is desirable in a relationship, as people, especially men seem more desirable if they are funny.

The humor effect is not universally the same, with short-term relationships g...

Humor During Stress

Generally, humor is a great ice-breaker and social lubricant, but if there are stressful situations in a relationship, humor actually increases the chances of a break-up or divorce.

Laughing With Your Partner

An intimate relationship requires opening up with your partner and being vulnerable, something that may feel uncomfortable to some people. Relationship satisfaction is affected if:

  • Couples like to laugh at others.
  • Partners like if someone laughs at one of them, or if the other partner makes fun of them.
  • Partners dislike if the other makes fun of them.

one more idea

Self-understanding

To make a marriage work, you have to be the right person.

Rather than looking for the right partner, become aware of your blind spots, growing edges and vulnerabilities. Take r...

You can’t avoid marital conflict

Blaming, oversimplifying, and seeing oneself as a victim are all common traits of unhappy couples and failed marriages.

Conflicts should be approached by looking together at the problem.

A good marriage takes skill

Most of us don’t have adequate communication skills going into marriage. It is important to build this skill.

one more idea

Creating routines

Creating routines

Too much is expected of modern relationships: your partner is supposed to fulfil roles that historically used to be spread out within communal structures. Your partner is supposed to be your be...

How to respond to the "invisible work"

During the pandemic, being at home with a partner reveals the "invisible work" they're doing, which may be taken for granted. This expanded view of ourselves and our partners can go in two directions.

  • In one direction, you are curious and say, "I never knew. I really appreciate it. I realize how I let you do everything." It becomes a source of connection.
  • It the other direction, it becomes a source of blame where you want to complain and tell your partner just how much you are doing. This way, you're not going to get help.

How people should fight

Couples go through harmony, disharmony, and repair. So they will inevitably get into arguments. However, what matters is how you fight. Don't highlight everything negative while taking the positive for granted.

  • Start by saying to yourself, "What are the one or two things that they have done that I can appreciate?" If you start with that, you will fight differently.

  • Stay focussed on the one thing that you're upset about at this moment. Don't end up talking about other things.

2 more ideas