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Sorrow and tragedy will happen to us all - here are 3 strategies to help you cope

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https://ideas.ted.com/sorrow-and-tragedy-will-happen-to-us-all-here-are-3-strategies-to-help-you-cope/

ideas.ted.com

Sorrow and tragedy will happen to us all - here are 3 strategies to help you cope
This post is part of TED's "How to Be a Better Human" series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from people in the TED community; browse through all the posts here. I'd like to start by asking you some questions. Have you ever lost someone you loved?

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The journey through suffering

The five stages of grief are described as anger, bargaining, denial, depression, and acceptance. Yet, when a tragedy strike, we already know how bad things are. What is most needed is hope.

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Suffering as part of life

We live in an age where many feel that they are entitled to a perfect life. But at some stage, everyone will face a tragedy.

When tough times do come, resilient people seem to recognize that...

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Directing your attention

Resilient people typically manage to focus on the things they can change and accept the things they can't.

Don't get swallowed up by your troubles. Don't lose what you still have to what y...

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Hunting for the good stuff

When you go through a difficult time, you might need a reminder to be grateful.

Try to find the things you can be grateful for. Tune in to what's good in your world.

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Helping or harming

Ask yourself if what you are doing is helping you or hurting you. 

Ask: “Is the way I’m thinking and acting helping me or harming me in my bid to get that promotion? To pass th...

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Not a fixed trait

Resilience is not a fixed or elusive trait that only some people have. It requires the willingness to try basic strategies.

It won't remove all the pain, but it can help to understand that it...

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Avoiding Tough Conversations

There is a natural tendency in humans to avoid tough conversations, due to the fear of conflict.

But sometimes it is necessary to have these conversations, as postponing them can make the sit...

Adar Cohen

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"Conflict is information, and handled well, conflict is opportunity."

Act As If You Don't Know

Asking questions as if you don't know anything about the whole problem, and listening carefully, can ease out the worst of conflicts.

Listening also makes other people get the impression that you care.

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Defensive failure

It's what occurs when we want to achieve something and we think about it constantly but we don't do it.

This happens because of a few mental blocks that are keeping us locked in this c...

“I just don’t think I can do this”

Experiencing a rocky start is enough sometimes to discourage us from going any further and we convince ourselves we don't have what it takes to do a certain task.

How to outsmart it: Develop a growth mindset and try to see each failure as just an opportunity to learn.

“People like me aren’t good at this”

While our identities can give us a sense of meaning and a place in the world, sometimes they can get in our way when we’re attempting new things: many of us will avoid doing anything that threatens our sense of self.

How to outsmart it: Find people like you, that are doing the things you'd like to do and share your concerns with them.

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We get fooled regularly

People and businesses often use techniques to get us to do what they want. We go for the “buy two, get one free” offer at the drugstore, or buy the advertised special, even when it is not really...

Misdirection

The age-old tactic of misdirection is employed to distract us from the real issue. Companies and governments even implement it: they release bad news on Fridays or before major holidays with the hope that the weekend will distract us from focussing on the issue.  

Time pressure and Opportunity

Combining time pressure and opportunity is a potent sales tactic. Think of the Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales (time pressure) that lead us to spend more than we typically would on things (the opportunity).

It is easier to manipulate people when they feel under pressure and don't have the time to consider the facts.

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