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Identify the specific behavior that damaged you. Consider the person as a whole with positive and negative behaviors. The pers...
If you feel safe communicating with the person who hurt you, talk about your feelings or write them to him....
Many of us have anxious and negative attachments to people who have hurt us in the form of anger, hate, resentment, irrational guilt or shame.
Removing the negative attachment through fo...
Make sure you rebuild a place of safety for yourself by having clear boundaries with the person who wronged you.
We tend to avoid facing our deep emotions since they make us feel anxious, at first.
Understand that it may be so in the beginning but in the end, it will be more liberating. Be patient with...
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This can be a gradual process—and it doesn't necessarily include the person ...
If you decide you are willing to forgive, find a good place and time to be alone with your thoughts.
We judge ourselves and others morally for things that didn't come out as intended, were unforeseen, or were influenced by factors beyond one's control.
The judgment we should rece...
Some people do their parenting in difficult circumstances, and nothing that is done by them as parents is fully under their control.
The good and bad traits that parents possess can find their way in the child, with them having no say as to what the child will eventually become or do.
Due to so many factors at play, parents are relying on good luck, pulling off a gamble on the child that is being raised. They don't have much leverage on the outcome, the net result of the actions of their offspring.
There is an inner paradox, a duality that exists in the minds of parents, which can make them accept and also reject the responsibility they have towards their kids' actions.
Forgiveness takes time for most. Shock and anger often come before forgiveness. Deal with the hurt feelings before moving into forgiveness.
The act of forgiving is one of realizing that holding onto the anger and resentment no longer carries the same weight on us.
One roadblock people face with forgiveness is the idea of being seen as "weak" and saying that what the offender did is excusable.
It requires more strength to forgive. Staying angry, resentful, and vengeful can have a detrimental impact on your physical and emotional health as well as your relationships.
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Forgiveness is choosing to not let negative events of the past define how you feel.
Forgiveness can keep your emotional body healthy. It increases feelings of happiness and decreases ...
You can forgive someone and still maintain a boundary. They may not even necessarily know you forgave them.
When you hold onto anger towards yourself or others, it weighs you down, drains your energy and increases your stress.
Resentment forces you to live in the past by fixing that person to that past moment.
Do not let yourself or the relationship be defined by anger. The ability to forgive and move on is critical for maintaining a healthy and happy relationship with the people you care about.
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We are living in strange, moralistic and masochistic times, with massive problems that need to be confronted, daily.
Keeping oneself entangled in the daily news coverage only adds to our depr...
We need to protect our brain from negativity, hatred, and racism that we see all around us.
The outside world and its many twisted problems, shown to us 24/7 aren't helping us or our family in any positive way.
Our daily lives are filled with ugliness, and forgiveness is the key to survival in this age.
Instead of trying to fix everything, just remain calm, forgive and move on. This is one of the surest ways to get your happiness back.
The only time to apologize is when you’re genuinely remorseful.
Avoid any apology that is forced. The person you are apologizing to will pick up on your ...
In order to show your sincerity when apologizing, you must be honest and vulnerable. That can lead to the cultivation of meaningful relationships. It can also lead to rejection, which is what makes it so scary.
When you apologize, be willing to share openly and candidly, allowing emotions to flow freely, so that you can be fully seen.
Take responsibility for your actions and admit your mistakes or transgressions. State them out loud. Yes, it will be scary. It will feel shameful for a time. But it is worth it.
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Difficult people defy logic. They create unnecessary complexity, strife and worst of all stress.
90 % of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in ord...
People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as callous or rude.
Avoid this by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary. Ask complainers how they intend to fix the problem. They will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction.
Difficult people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational.
Distance yourself from them emotionally and approach your interactions like they’re a science project (or you’re their shrink). You don’t need to respond to the emotional chaos -- only the facts.
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...doesn’t happen because you’ve studied some abstract logical form and come to valid deductions.
It happens because you know enough about how the world works to rule out certain...
Many well-known problems of human reasoning disappear once you get a group of people together and let them talk about it.
It's a good way to see your ideas refuted or let stronger ideas win the day. Although there’s a risk of group think and conformity pressures, if you take a large and diverse enough group, you’re more likely to be exposed to the best reasoning, which will tend to win out over the majority opinion.
Workplaces are communities. Healthy relationships can be a source of energy, learning, and support. When they break down, they become sources of frustration that harm people and organizations....
When we notice some tension in your work relationships, it is better to reset the emotional tone rather than pulling away. Do this by bringing up positive memories with your colleague, which can strengthen your bond and counterbalance the negative feelings so you can express them effectively.
The purpose is to create a supportive environment where you can talk about the issues without creating further damage to your relationship.
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Most people understand love at first sight to be falling in love with a stranger when they see them for the first time. But love at first sight is based on stereotypes, imagination, and ass...
If you have experienced love at first sight, think what made the stranger stand out to you.
Knowing this, you may understand why some are certain about the possibility of love at first sight.
But it doesn't make the potential resulting breakup easier. It leaves us feeling like we lost something destiny had intended.
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