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Mastering Conversation | Scott H Young

Scott H Young

"People don’t judge you so much for who you are as they judge you for how you communicate yourself."

Scott H Young

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Mastering Conversation | Scott H Young

Mastering Conversation | Scott H Young

https://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2006/10/25/mastering-conversation/

scotthyoung.com

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Key Ideas

Scott H Young

Scott H Young

"People don’t judge you so much for who you are as they judge you for how you communicate yourself."

Be Funny and Interesting

  • Humor: It takes a lot of practice until you can figure out the natural timing and flow of a joke. Practice makes perfect.
  • Interest comes from having an interesting life. You can be interesting by telling stories  or by simply being quick to bring up an interesting fact.

Interest is similar to humor whenever people discover something they didn’t expect.

Tell Great Stories

  • You need to have an interesting point to make it worthwhile.
  • Your most interesting point should be the last thing you say in your story.
  • Keep it short.
  • Keep it personal. People prefer stories about people they know.
  • The more you tell a story the better you get the natural timing and emphasis. 

Watch the Tempo

Conversational rhythm is of critical importance when you are trying to enter a conversation, particularly with strangers. Starting out with a long story isn’t nearly as effective as offering a quip. Once you integrate yourself into a conversation you can start offering longer stories to fill the space.

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Step #5: Exits
Step #5: Exits

Use bookmarks to end well. Examples:

  • Future Mentions: “Well, I can’t wait to see you at that ___ coming up—I’ll email you!
  • Inside Jokes: “It was g...
Step #4: Evaluate Your Conversational Performance

After an event ask yourself what went well, what did you learn and who should you follow-up with so you can keep learning and honing your ability. 

This can help you identify patterns and remember to follow up on bookmarks, LinkedIn connections and promises.

Step #3: Bookmarking

Use the ‘Bookmarking’ technique to create a deeper connection by adding verbal markers or emphasis to parts of the conversation:

  • Future Mentions: saying something that will require follow up on later.
  • Inside Jokes: making jokes that refer to something interesting or funny you and the listener was involved in.
  • Same Same: exclaiming how crazy it is you have something in common and talking about it.
  • You Have to See: saying that you will share something they are interested in with them later.

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Great conversations
Great conversations

They are not just the process of exchanging of words. They represent the base for very meaningful friendship or partnership.
And especially in this era of screens and limited attention spans gre...

Ingredients of a great conversation
  • A great conversation is a two-way street, not a competition.
  • A great conversation is a safe space. Fear of judgment will stop you from opening up in front of someone.
  • A great conversation fosters relatability. Relating to something that another person has expressed indicates active listening.
  • A great conversation is an opportunity to learn. It should feel enriching and enlightening.
Anyone can use humor

Appropriate humor relaxes an audience and makes them feel more comfortable with you as the speaker. 

Humor can bring attention to the point you are making and help the audien...

Developing Anecdotes

The best and most comfortable place to find humor comes from your own personal experience. 

Jot down funny ideas as you come across it that might appeal to your audience - an embarrassing moment that you might not have found funny at the time, or a funny conversation you had. 

Honing the Delivery

Make sure your choose humor is funny to you. First practice with small groups of people. Pay attention to the way your are delivering the joke or quip.

Only use humor in a speech after you are comfortable telling it from memory and have tested it.

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