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Mastering Conversation | Scott H Young
Watch the Tempo
Conversational rhythm is of critical importance when you are trying to enter a conversation, particularly with strangers. Starting out with a long story isn’t nearly as effective as offering a quip. Once you integrate yourself into a conversation you can start offering longer stories to fill the space.
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Step #5: Exits
Use bookmarks to end well. Examples:
- Future Mentions: “Well, I can’t wait to see you at that ___ coming up—I’ll email you!”
- Inside Jokes: “It was great laughing with you. I’ll be sure to ___ in the future ;)”
- Same Same: “I’m so glad I met a fellow ___ fan. You made my night!”
- You Have to See: “I’ll be sure to send that link your way, great talking to you!”
Step #4: Evaluate Your Conversational Performance
After an event ask yourself what went well, what did you learn and who should you follow-up with so you can keep learning and honing your ability.
This can help you identify patterns and remember to follow up on bookmarks, LinkedIn connections and promises.
Step #3: Bookmarking
Use the ‘Bookmarking’ technique to create a deeper connection by adding verbal markers or emphasis to parts of the conversation:
- Future Mentions: saying something that will require follow up on later.
- Inside Jokes: making jokes that refer to something interesting or funny you and the listener was involved in.
- Same Same: exclaiming how crazy it is you have something in common and talking about it.
- You Have to See: saying that you will share something they are interested in with them later.
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Great conversations
They are not just the process of exchanging of words. They represent the base for very meaningful friendship or partnership.
And especially in this era of screens and limited attention spans great conversations should be nurtured.
Ingredients of a great conversation
- A great conversation is a two-way street, not a competition.
- A great conversation is a safe space. Fear of judgment will stop you from opening up in front of someone.
- A great conversation fosters relatability. Relating to something that another person has expressed indicates active listening.
- A great conversation is an opportunity to learn. It should feel enriching and enlightening.
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Anyone can use humor
Appropriate humor relaxes an audience and makes them feel more comfortable with you as the speaker.
Humor can bring attention to the point you are making and help the audience better remember it.
Developing Anecdotes
The best and most comfortable place to find humor comes from your own personal experience.
Jot down funny ideas as you come across it that might appeal to your audience - an embarrassing moment that you might not have found funny at the time, or a funny conversation you had.
Honing the Delivery
Make sure your choose humor is funny to you. First practice with small groups of people. Pay attention to the way your are delivering the joke or quip.
Only use humor in a speech after you are comfortable telling it from memory and have tested it.